Regrets in the Crying Sky

Freedom

Natsu looked around the house. Perishable food was gathered in the refrigerator with a note to Happy to take it with him before it spoiled. The dinner last night had used up the last of the meat, and he drank the last bit of milk that morning. Everything was boxed up, and dust sheets covered all the furniture, ready for a long absence.

He had gone on plenty of long missions by now. There was always that sense of longing, wishing he could stay home just one more day, knowing he would miss his friends, his bed, and a hot meal. Adventure awaited, but at the expense of leaving behind so much.

Especially now. Natsu was unsure how long he had cried that morning; there was still a dull pain in his chest and behind his eyes. Last night had been wonderful, sensual, a dream come true, but after the flames burned, what was left behind was cold, black soot, a charred stain on his soul. He had to leave now with uncertainty and regrets eating away at him.

He had no clue how Gray was feeling right now. Yearning for more? Regretting it all? Angry at Natsu? In love? How would he feel later, when this mission ended? So much could change during that time, and Natsu would not be around to talk to Gray, discuss this, maybe try to win him over, or even encourage him to surrender it all as being just a one-time fantasy, a dream, forget that night and the things that they said. He was leaving Gray alone to sort through this on his own, and that pained Natsu, because he knew this act of adultery would grieve Gray deeply.

Natsu hoped that by the time he returned to Magnolia, Gray would have figured out how to cope, and he would be happy. Natsu almost wished Juvia could give Gray a child. He would make a truly loving father. He deserved that much. They both did. They made a cute couple. So perfect.

Tears came to his eyes again, and the Dragon Slayer cursed, scrubbing at his face. He was not about to go out there in tears. The rain might hide the drips, but not the puffiness of his eyelids. What would people say if they saw Salamander Natsu crying like a kid?

To stall for time, he went to the bathroom just to make sure he got everything. Sure enough, he almost left his comb. He picked it up, but he saw a piece of hair stuck in it. He picked it out and saw a black strand. Gray's hair!

Natsu shivered, as if those cold arms were wrapped around him again. He and Gray had been in this bathroom: that wonderful shower, the gentle foot rub, the erotic cleaning, touching one another, and loving one another. The tears burned him again, and Natsu shook his head, vainly trying to banish the pain from his heart. He tucked that loose strand into a pocket. It would be his good luck charm on his journey, a little piece of Gray he could keep as his own.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Natsu put the comb in his bag as he hurried forward. Who the heck would come here, and through this storm? Maybe Lisanna wanted to say goodbye before he left. Perhaps it was Happy. Yes, probably Happy, although the knock was far too loud for his furry paws.

When he opened the door, he did not recognize the person at first. The rain was coming down in torrents. The man on his porch was drenched, his head down, black hair completely obscuring him. When the visitor lifted his downcast face, Natsu saw stormy-blue eyes streaked red with crying. One eye was bruised purple and swollen.

"Gray!"

The ice mage collapsed into his arms, catching Natsu off-guard. Natsu yanked him inside. Gray's clothes were saturated, and even his shoes squished out water as he stepped. Natsu yanked the heavy cloak off, letting it fall in a moist shlop by the door. Gray was not moving, so Natsu bent over and got the muddy, soaked shoes off. Then Natsu hugged him close, set himself on fire, and let the flames dance around them both, not burning Gray, but steaming the rain off in billows.