Honestly, I don't think today was my day. Today, in art class I was working on my Doodle for Google, and while I was conversing with my "friends" about the FNaF fandom simping for Springtrap (aka William Afton), I said that I'm gay and I don't like Springtrap as a response to their statement (sorry i don't feel like typing out the entire convo so yeah). Since I was talking naturally low, my "friends" were asking me to repeat myself and then my seat-mate (who I'll call 'Timmy') said, "She said she's a (insert f-slur)." First of all, I'm pretty sure that he was there when the students asked me about my pronouns (i'll talk abt this later), and my friend said I use he/they pronouns, so not only did Timmy call me the f-slur, but he also used the wrong pronouns for me. I confronted him and said something back (pretty sure I said smth like "Stop calling me that, you have no right to say it"), and he had the audacity to say that he 'doesn't care' and he and his friend said the f-slur multiple times. Then Timmy and his friend told me to kms. I responded saying, "I would, but I have a girlfriend (my s/o) to live for." My "friends" didn't say anything back and when I was talking to myself, they were telling me to shut the "eff" up and to kms. Y'ALL CLEARLY DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH SO WHEN I GET UPSET, YET YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP?! GENUINELY ASKING BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE, AND NOW THAT I'M SPEAKING OUT OF ANGER, Y'ALL TELL ME TO SHUT UP ABT IT?? Yeah, no thank you 💕💕
Adding onto this, I left the class and I happened to be near them which resulted in me being called slurs, names, and being told to kms on my way to ELA. Once I got to ELA, i asked a person who I'll call Natalie, if she could ask Timmy to stop calling me names, I asked because I thought they were acquainted, but I guessed wrong and it resulted in me ALMOST getting into a fight, but I honestly should've just asked if there was anyone who is an acquaintance of Timmy instead of getting straight to the point. Anyways, I didn't fight Natalie, but she could've handled the situation much better when I mistakenly jumped to conclusions. So, I was obviously upset with myself, and I kept zoning out because I'm trying to figure out how to properly apologize to Natalie without making her upset.
A little bit later during lunch, my s/o was asking me to stop pushing my beliefs on my "friends," and because I am prone to being sensitive (like the stupid person I am), I obviously was in my feelings and just decided to ignore everyone and do my classwork. So when my s/o was trying to talk to me, I was hurt a bit, but I still talked to them about what's going on, and I explained how my "friends" didn't stand up for me when I was getting called slurs and proceeded to tell me to shut up as if I'm going to deal with it on my own. Honestly, words hurt and y'all don't even realize it. Same bullcrap happened last year and no one, and I mean NO ONE stood up for me. Y'all act as if it's funny, but as a black person and a part of the lgbtq+ community, I'm stunned by the amount of black/poc students at this school are racist towards the latino students and are also using slurs against lgbt students when they're in a minority group themselves. WE HAD NO RIGHTS IN THE PAST AND THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT FOR GRANTED BY BEING RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC, AND DISCRIMINATORY IN GENERAL. IT'S NOT FUNNY, JUST STOP IT.
Another thing, last week my s/o and I were at the Black History Month Program, and we were harassed by 6th graders because we're in a sapphic relationship. I'm not going into depth but they asked a crap ton of inappropriate and uncomfortable questions and they were directed towards my s/o.
Then, they wonder why I don't talk to them at all despite me being "nice person" EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I get pushed and shoved around as if it's on purpose yet I forgive them every time, i get called names and I (usually) don't say anything back, I get talked bad about in my face yet I still try my hardest to ignore them.
Give me a break.
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Last thing, this is technically a question, but is asking someone's pronouns in front of an entire class harassment or just picking on some1?? I'm asking because two students i'll call Sebastian and Cayden asked me what my pronouns are in front of the WHOLE CLASS, with over 20 students. Thanks!
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total words: 842 created: March 6, 2023 published: March 6, 2023
