MY ROOMMATE

Chapter 4: Tired

*SAGE'S POV*

I wake up to my alarm. I get shakey and light headed. I feel my anxiety rise. I sigh to myself knowing it's one of those days.

Sometime's i have a day where i feel anxious 24/7. I push everyone away and say hurtful things i don't mean. I get panic attacks and it's just difficult.

I decide i don't want to go to classes and i'll just stay at the dorm to limit the chance of an attack in public.
I walk out my room my head low. I walk into the kitchen and bump into a chest. I look up at Theo.

"Sorry." I say and go around him. I look in the fridge and pantry for something to eat but i really don't feel like it. I go and sit on the couch turning on the tv.

"Are you alright?" Theo says leaning against the counter.

"I- uhm yeah i'm just not feeling that well. I'm not going to class today."

"Oh okay, call me if you need anything at all." He says hesitantly before walking out the door.

~~

Ive made it through the day so far without a panic attack. I'm scrolling on my phone when i get a message from my best friend back home.

"Your a whore you know that? I heard you keep hanging out with your roomie and his friends and fucking them all behind there backs. Everyone back home is really dissapointed in you"

My heart drops. I never did any of that.

My breathing gets heavy. I let out a sob knowing an anxeity attack is on the way.

Tears streaming out my eyes my breath uneasy. I lean foreward resting my head on my hands trying to calm myself but i can't. My mind races.

Who made rumors about me?

Why would they do that?

Its all my fault.

I deserve it.

I deserve the pain.

I should leave.

I can barely breath. My vission is blurry. My chest is tight, the room is closing in on me. Go away. Make it stop. Take me.

I feel my hands being prawled off my face. Theo is bobbing down infront of me. Did he teleport? I watch as his eyes dart all around my face.

"Hey baby what's wrong?" Theo looks at me his hands cupping my face.

My breath rises and falls letting out more sobs.

"E-everyone hates me and it's all my fault and i deserve it. I want to go."

"Whatever your talking about isn't your fault. You don't deserve this." He wipes my tears.

"Make it go away i can't do it anymore." I sob.

"Your breaking my heart." I hear him mumble to himself. My breath gets faster and quicker. I get light headed.

"Love you need to breath." He says.

"I-i- can't." I whisper. My voice croaky and strained. I close my eyes tightly.

"What's five things you can see?" He says his hands traveling down to my back rubbing it in soothing motions. I shake my head my eyes shut tightly.

"Come on yes you can. Do it for me, please." I slowly open my eyes looking around the room.

" You, the tv, the coffee table, the door, my phone."