Football Imagines (England players mostly)

A Secret Revealed - Phil Foden

Warning : This part is dedicated to Mason Greenwood (whether or not he is guilty) as it contains mentions of sexual assault.

*** 

I loathed being sick.                         

What I loved was that Phil was taking care of me. 

He slowly pulled the duvet cover aside while he sat on the side of the bed. He rested the back of his palm on my forehead for a few seconds then said with a smile, "Getting better. Have some soup."

He fed me a spoonful of soup and said that he made it. I smiled and told him, "It's delicious"

"Are you still feeling dizzy?", he asked while feeding me the third spoonful of soup. I nodded. He fed me a fourth. Then a fifth.  

Phil and I have been dating since two months. We never had sex yet nor seen each other without clothes on. Phil was more of a "take it slow" kind of guy and never rushed into things when it came to relationships and I agreed with him that rushing into doing things wasn't the best option, especially after what had happened to me. 

I have been sick for a day now and Phil had already missed a day of training because of me. 

"You need to take a bath", he said while heading out of the room with the empty bowl of soup. 

I could not gather the strength to even sit properly let alone take a bath. 

After a few moments, he came back and felt my forehead again. "Do you want me to help you?", he asked. 

If he found out, would he leave me?

I tried to refuse taking a bath, "I'm too weak, Phil", I lied, well, partially lied.

"It's okay, I'll help you. I-if you let me", he said, then rested my head against a soft pillow against the headboard, then cupped his hands on my cheeks. He didn't kiss me though. 

I was debating whether to let him or not to let him help me. He would eventually find out anyway. I finally accepted his helping hand. 

Phil helped me get up from the bed and walk into the bathroom. He closed the door behind us and helped me undress. Slowly, piece by piece, I was now standing in front of him without clothes on when I witnessed what I had already expected. 

His eyes widened, he gasped, and his hands were clasped to his mouth. He made eye contact with me, then looked back to confirm what he saw. 

My scars. The scars I got when I was sixteen, when a moment of my life carved such a deep scar, I still looked back at it like it was yesterday. The terror it caused, the pain that came along with it and the same excruciating pain I still live with today... everyday and every time I remind myself of it. 

Phil brushed his hands softly against the scars. "What the hell have you been through, love?", he questioned with concern. I was worried if the same concern would be the reason he would decide to part ways with me, like everyone did before. 

I couldn't think of living without him. He became an essential part of my life the last two months. Negative thoughts flooded my mind and I couldn't suppress them. Tears began dripping from my eyes. 

Phil hugged me. He rested his chin on my left shoulder and caressed my back. "It's okay... You don't have to tell me now. I understand it's hard. C'mon, I ran you a bath", he comforted me. 

He comforted me. 

I stepped into the bathtub filled with lukewarm water. I rested my head and closed my eyes, suppressing more tears. Phil was staying. He was actually staying.

***

(One Day Later)

(Y/N and Phil are sitting cross legged on their bed, ready to have this conversation)

"You know you can take your time right?", he asked. 

"I know.. I mean, I'd have to tell you anyway", I shifted forward so our knees were touching and held his hands in mine. "I just don't know how to phrase it"

"It's okay, think... Take your time. I'm always here, you know that"

"I was coming home from school. But I took a detour in the woods with one of my guy friends. I liked him at the time and I thought he did too. He persuaded me to go into the woods with him so we could spend more time together", I sniffed. Phil was carefully listening. I looked at his left hand. 

"And then when we were surrounded by trees and the roads were no longer visible...He pushed me against a tree and...", I couldn't talk. It felt like my voice was stuck. Phil reached over and hugged me. 

"He raped me", I broke into tears. Phil pulled away and pecked me on my forehead, then my lips. He slowly pulled away but rested his forehead on my shoulders. 

"What happened has already happened. You have me now, and I am not going anywhere", he said, his voice muffled against the crook of my neck. A tear escaped my eye but I stayed still.

"And, these scars just made me love you more, not less", he said, "I know I got a strong girlfriend", he smiled at me.

He shifted to the side of the bed and hugged me from the side until we fell asleep. 

***

I hope you liked it, a vote would make my day :) Also, I know that it's short. I am really busy with school and all that.