Starry Eyed

2

Ever since Naomi introduced me to the word situationship, I'd been on an internet rabbit hole.  I hate that the term fit our relationship (or lack thereof) so perfectly. 

Hayden and I had been together for about six months or close to it. There was no talk or being exclusive, no girlfriend proposal, only our little get togethers and half ass dates if you could even call it that.

The thing about a situationship, it felt almost impossible to get out of.

"Where are you going? It's literally eleven thirty at night." Naomi asked me as I picked up my tote bag.

"Hayden's." I mumbled. 

She tilted her head. "Want to say that a little louder?"

"Hayden's place." I said a little bit louder.

"Rowan Carroway!" she exclaimed. "I thought once you finally realized that you were in a situationship you would top giving him your attention."

I shrugged. "Maybe I like the thrill of being delusional?"

Naomi just blinked. "If you two don't commit to each other by like, I don't know, two weeks? I need you to let him go. For your sake. You're young, hot, and in college. I want you to explore your options and not be confined to a guy that can't even make you his girlfriend."

I took in what she was saying.

"Two weeks is fair." I agreed. 

Naomi looked at me. "Be on time for practice please."

"Practice is in the evening tomorrow, so of course. I'll see you in the morning." I began to walk out of the room.

To be honest, after she read me like that, I did not even feel like going to Hayden's house in the slightest, but I already told him I was going and I felt like I had to commit. Well, I didn't feel like it. I liked how being cuddled made me feel. 

I got into the Uber that he ordered for me and took it to his place. When I got there, he was standing in the doorway. 

"Hi, Carroway." Hayden greeted me as he put his arms around me. He gave me the tightest hug. "How is your day going?"

Little does he know that I'm beating myself up for even being over here right now. 

"Hey, Hayden." I hugged him back. "It's going ok, you?"

"I can't complain." I aid to me.

We walked into his place. None of his roommates were sitting in the living room area this time around, so that met no awkward 'hello's' or 'how are you doing?'

Hayden and I went into his room. I put my things down and sat down on his bed.

"Do you have practice in the morning?" I asked him as he untied my shoes for me. 

"Nope." he got into bed and pulled me up towards him. "Do you? You probably do?"

I shook my head. "Not in the morning. I do have practice in the evening though."

"Well, at least that means you don't have to sneak out of here at five in the morning." Hayden shrugged.

I rolled over to look at him. "Yeah, that whole interaction made me feel like a cheap whore prostitute. Especially the nights that we would have sex."

Hayden began to stroke my cheek. "Well, you know that was never my intention to make you feel like that."

I shrugged. "What can you do?"

There was a lot he could do, but that was beside the point.

"I just don't really know what we're doing. Is this just sex and cuddles? I feel like you and I are just for sex a lot of the time."  I said to Hayden.