Caught Up in the Memories [SOON]

Simula

Simula
Madeleine Acosta

Engagement parties should be exciting. Weddings marked the beginning of a new and exciting chapter in someone’s life. For most people, especially for women, this particular event was something to be looked forward to.

But not me. In fact, I had been dreading this day to come. What I was feeling was the exact opposite because instead of celebrating, I was grieving. It was barely a week ago since my eighteenth birthday, since my coming of age, and here I was now, being surrounded by a crowd of people I really had no idea who, staring with all their eyes at me and on the man my father had chosen me to marry.

Labag sa loob akong tumayo sa tabi ni Daddy nang tawagin na kami ng emcee para ipakilala sa mga bisita. At my other side was my younger sister, Seychelles, who was looking so sorry at me like how sorry I was to myself.

Nakakaawa naman talaga ako, lalo na ‘yong sitwasyon ko. Ipakakasal sa lalaking hindi ko naman gusto at kailanman ay hindi magugustuhan.

With my damp palms, I held at the skirt of the dress I was wearing, my hands turning into tight fists while itching to claw my long and pointed nails at my father. At sa sobrang galit sa kaniya ay naiiyak na lamang ako. Palaban akong babae, e. Hindi papatalo at kailanman ay hindi nasisindak ng kahit na sino. But when it came to him, I was always powerless, always the daughter expected to bend on his will.

Fuck him.

I wished Mommy was still here. I wished Seychelles and I were not left to our ruthless and selfish of a father who only cared about his reputation in the society. This party was not entirely mine to begin with. This was all for a show, all for his benefits. I was nothing but a trophy, nothing like more than a prize he liked to show off. At hindi ko masisisi si Mommy kung bakit iniwanan niya si Daddy. Sana ay isinama na lang din niya kami.

“Everyone, please meet the Acosta family headed by Mr. Canaan Ford Acosta and his daughters, Seychelles Acosta and the woman of the night, Madeleine Acosta,” said the emcee.

Claps filled the room. Nagkagulo naman ang mga photographers habang kani-kaniya sila ng kuha ng mga larawan sa amin.

“Miss Madeleine, can you smile for us?” One bald photographer asked.

My father tilted his face to my direction and when he saw that I was indeed not smiling at the cameras, pasimple siyang humilig, humawak nang mariin sa baywang ko, at saka bumulong sa tainga ko.

“Huwag mo akong ipahiya, Madeleine. Smile at the camera, you brat,” banta niya.

“But I didn’t want this—”