(Not) Fighting the right fight

Chapter 1

Kim blamed it on his lack of proper self-discipline

He was upset and pissed off enough that he wanted to crawl out of his own skin, bury his head in the pillows under it, and pretend nothing was going on...

It all started when he had that pitty fight with Kamol a couple of days ago, and he couldn't even remember what it was about. It started with something simple... and somehow he was angry and frustrated and he took it all out on Kamol...

He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't remember what started it off... because like hell he did...

Kamol had been busy, way busier than usual... which meant he was barely seeing him, let alone spending time with him, and whatever was making him busy was also making him worried and hyper-protective with Kim...

which resulted in more guards on Kim's detail all the time, he felt like he was suffocating with it, he couldn't go to work, shop or do any damn thing... and Kamol was not there to negotiate as much with him... and no one was telling him what was really going on...

He thought - naively - that since Kamol left the Mafia business behind, everything would - sure - take time, but they would clear up. Their life would be calmer and more organized... it would be safer... he needed it to be safer because if something happened to someone he loved because of Kamol he wasn't sure he would forgive him...

and apparently, in a fit of anger and frustration, he said as much... cruelly and without even hearing a single word out of Kamol's mouth...

Kamol stood silent and didn't know what to do or say... it had been months... since they had been together since they had been engaged...

He left the room calmly and Kim just deflated... His head reeled from spouting all those hurtful words without even giving them a thought... who knew he would be as cruel as a mafia overlord when he wanted to... a pot and a lid indeed...

He stayed alone all night after that... contemplating what the heck did he say and why he had said it... why in his fit of anger did he do such an awful thing... to the man who abandoned all that he knew in his life for him... the man that took the rough road for him...

And Kamol was not the kind of man who would put Kim - or anyone in Kim's Family for that matter - on the line, he promised as much, and he protected him from anyone and everyone... even from himself...

He would have to apologize and preferably soon because he had no idea what got into him...

However, Kamol was nowhere to be found, not in his office, not in the company... and apparently not in the entire country...

It was what Lop told him an hour later when he came back to the house from dropping Khom and Kamol off at the airport...Kamol left abruptly for Korea... something urgent and from the look of Lop it was not just urgent... it was dangerous...

This left Kim simmering between his guilt and worry... between having picked up a fight because he was pissed and annoyed and worried about what might be going on, and being actually worried because Kamol was in another country on an urgent business... a dangerous urgent business

What added more fuel to the fire was the fact that Kim didn't let him talk, he didn't let him explain... he poured everything he was feeling, all his frustration on him... with no room to actually let the man explain what invited the protective notion this time... and Kamol took it - unexpectedly - calmly...

He tried calling his cell but to no avail... it was turned off... and it stayed turned off for a couple more days...He tried to call on Khom and got the same result... it meant that something so damn bad was taking place over there...