why i can never have a relationship,

a cool dream i'll never have irl

A warmth embrace, the window let morning in, waking me up. "Mm.." I'd mutter, still half-asleep. The bed, still warm enough to compliment the coldness of the room, it was a wanting, a longing to sleep again. Yet, I urged to stop myself from sleeping, I soon sat up. 

I stretch, making my shirt lift up only to yawn right after. I brushed aside the comfy futon that didn't really fit the aesthetic of my room. It took me a while to uplift the curse of drowsiness, because that sleep was too good to be true. "Hm??" something caught my attention before I got off bed. 

A shirt, more specifically, a shirt that I don't own. Of course I'd know this because I myself can say that I'm quite picky with what I wear. I reached for it, examining it closely "Yeah- this is definitely not mine.". The shirt was grey in color and had a band logo just above the center front. "Retirement Party" was the band in question, seemed that whoever owned this shirt has good taste in music not gonna lie. "Wait... but how did it get here? What even happened last night??" at this point I was fully awake. 

I tried to remember hard and dearly on anything related to yesterday, this was like an episode of Happy Death Day... wait... that was a movie though, then it struck me. "Oh cool, you're up." before even realizing myself, it had already happened. "Mornin'" said the person. I was what you can say shocked but at like, a mid-level, like when you already kind of know it's going to happen but you have that instinct to still get baffled by it. 

Apparently, I had someone over? Who is this guy? So many endearing questions came to mind, and it was first thing in the morning too. "I uhh... made us some coffee." he started again, he sounded shy and cautious about it too. Though the smell of coffee felt nice in the morning, really suited the atmosphere at least, but that wasn't the most concerning thing yet. I still looked fazed just starring at the guy. He was averagely skinny in my opinion, his hair was somewhat long, like around neck level which was brown at the roots transitioning into a faded dirty blonde at the ends. Oh and he was also shirtless for some reason, now I started piecing things together.

"Hi? Uhm wait... what?! I cannot remember who you are sorry!" I rubbed my temples, distraught from trying to remember. "Ah of course, yeah I'd get confused too if I were you, ehem..." he hurried over, placing the mugs on the nightstand. "Ok first off, I'm Miles." he gestured to himself, taking the band shirt and wearing it. "Sorry haha, I don't usually sleep with a shirt on for personal preference, not weird at all." he awkwardly said, hinting sarcasm. "Wait, sleep? Did we uh..." I pause slowly. he squinted then quickly widened expressively. 

"Oh no no, we didn't have sex or anything like that, if that's what you're wondering." he turned away, scratching his head. The scent of coffee giving the room a whole different atmosphere, as if I'm in some sort of film, a romcom one if I had to assume. I sigh of relief, also, I was still in my boxers. "Ok uhm Miles was it? I don't really know what's going on but like... what happened yesterday?" I finally got straight to it. I couldn't really resist coffee so I insisted and grabbed a mug. 

Miles sat next to me, just a good distance for a conversation at least. "You don't remember? Like everything?" He asked, I responded with a serious look, nodding and taking a sip from the coffee he made, which was delicious might I add, like Starbucks level delicious. "I see, well long story short, you were pretty depressed last night." he admitted, almost spat my coffee by the way. 

"For real? Damn." I took another sip, "And explain to me how you got into my apartment?" I added. He paused for a second, like he didn't want me to know what I had been so depressed about last night. I know I can be pretty edgy at times but when he said those words, he sounded too serious about it, almost even worried. "Well I guess it's not important now, yeah?" I interrupted him before he answered, maybe it was for the best y'know. "And FYI, this coffee is superb." I cheekily smiled at him, I don't know why really. Maybe it was the presence of someone, or maybe how comforting everything is right now. 

"Hey." Miles started, a look of worry etched on his face. "Are you alright?" he'd slowly inch closer. He really caught me off guard at that moment, I don't know why he'd ask that honestly, there wasn't even anything to worry about, right? 

I'd put the mug aside, next to the one that was still filled, it was probably cold by now. But it was still full, unlike mine, all poured out and empty. I'd turn to face him, I couldn't pin point exactly why my surrounding lingered of sadness and uncertainty.  "I don't want to go." I sigh, curdling my knees at the bedside, my face making a blank looking at my fingers. "I don't want to get up yet, from this room." A soft smile marks my lips, closing my eyes in relief. By now Miles was practically touching my side, closing the spaces between us. 

"You know..." I'd lean my head to rest against his shoulders, I can almost feel the whimsical tune of morning that echoes thoroughly, poetic, I know right? "What's on your mind?" he says, still fixated on me. Just who is this guy exactly, a guardian angel? A foretelling future? Or just an actual stranger? 

"Huh? I uhm... I don't know." I continued from my momentary pause, or it could've been that I stopped myself from speaking? 

Miles and I faced each other, were we going to kiss? It was all too overwhelming, like a climax from a movie, where the two main characters are about to do some crappy heart to heart scene that always gets me for some reason. But instead of doing what I thought was about to happen, he'd instead carefully cup the left side of my face with his right hand, with a playful smirk forming from his lips. 

"You're beautiful." he whispers. 

I gasped silently by his words, with weak smile. "Thank you." I say, sincerely. 

A tear ran down to meet his palm that had already been placed so perfectly, as if he knew how things would turn out. I couldn't muster up enough words to say, though, I felt like I didn't need to say more. Everything went on its own, I couldn't stop it, time just went. The morning turning to noon, then to dawn, then to night. His coffee grew colder, yet somehow, I could still smell it in such a way of when it was freshly made. 

The stars have shown itself to me, outside my window. Night was out and about, clear and crisp, the chirping of the birds turned into those lovely noises that crickets make. I look outside from my bed. From what was buildings and cars a minute ago, now turned into a field of trees. I grew astonished, mesmerized by the scenery, and of course, the greenery. 

"Today will become like yesterday, you think this time will be any different?" I ask Miles. 

Looking over to him, he finished up the rest of his coffee. Now both our mugs were empty. I don't know why I was happy at that moment, but I just was. 

"Yeah, it's different." he answers. "How different?" I continued, caressing the windows frame. 

Miles stood from where he was, walking to me. A hug from behind conquered the compiling thoughts I pondered on, this was something I've yearned for, something that was missing. 

He didn't answer my question, for what he did by now was enough to answer all of it. I wanted to melt right there, my heart felt so warm. "Come on, let's lay down." said with ease, I followed along, the night definitive of youth. 

I look up with Miles, the ceiling was gone, where did it go? Honestly, it didn't matter what happened next, I'm content with what I have, laying aside someone felt comforting. Miles was laughing, telling facts about stars, it was pretty enjoying actually, I could listen to him talk for hours. He had an arms around me while the other pointed to the sky. 

I close my eyes, wishing this could last till tomorrow, and the next day after tomorrow, and so on. I felt his embrace wrap itself around me, his breathe being heard from the still mood of my room, it wasn't cold anymore, better yet, it had the right amount of wind, I should be asleep at this point, don't know why I'm still typing in this story. 

"Goodnight, may we meet again in another dream." He says, lightly rubbing my head. 

-end.