Perfect : A Sjips Fanfic

Part 16: Conflictions

A/N: hmm been debating on if this chapter is going to be NSFW or not..
Oh shit
I just realized it's only the first day they've been dating
DAMMIT.
UGH
SHIT
FUCK IT.

WARNING. NSFW.

(Sips POV)

Although Sjin was asleep, my heart was still racing. I would glance over at him every time I managed to calm my heart down a little, but as soon as I did it would jump into my throat. My hands were trembling and my blush was using so much blood I was almost dizzy. My eyes were locked on the road and I drove as carefully as possible to try my best to keep Sjin asleep. I ran the scene through my head again. "All you have to do is carry me," Shivers went down my spine. My thoughts were interrupted when we went over a pot hole and the whole car shook. I looked back over at Sjin hesitantly. He was curled up into his comfortable position next to the door. He had a thin trail of drool down his chin and he was snoring ever so lightly. I smiled, relieved. He's still asleep. Now he won't see me freaking out.

My thoughts trailed back to the scene. Now what would I have him do? I didn't want to seem like I was going to use him, but there was so much I wanted to do to him. My heart skipped a beat and my blush started to give me a headache. I felt a twitch in my crotch and tensed with embarrassment. I pulled the car to a gentle halt at a red light and hit my forehead on the steering wheel angrily. You're thinking such dirty things about him. You've been going out for less than a day! I bit my lip. But I guess you've loved him longer than than that.. But that doesn't make it okay! I shook my head side to side violently. I flinched as I heard the seat move and I quickly looked over at the sleepy figure. He readjusted himself into a stranger position. I didn't even breathe until he started snoring again. I heard the car behind us honk, so I quickly pressed the gas pedal. I felt the car jerk forwards and I slowed down a little to balance out how fast we were going. "Shit," I whispered under my breath. I started to rub my forehead. It was hurting after I hit it. I quickly pulled down the mirror and looked at it. It was turning red.

I cursed at myself and took in a deep breath. Stop being such an idiot, stop being such an idiot, stop being such an idiot! I growled under my breath and sighed. Calm down. I looked over at Sjin and bit my lip. I detensed and felt myself relax, and even smile a little. He looks so cute and innocent when he's sleeping.. I felt my heart fall and a frown tug at the corners of my lips. And I'm dreaming about taking advantage of him. I felt ashamed of myself. But at the same time the thought of me doing dirty things to him still danced in the back of my mind. I shifted and breathed in shakily when the thought started to take over. You want him. My heart raced. You need him. Whenever I decided against trying to do anything to him, my lust and greed pulled me back to the thought of sexual fantasies. But whenever I felt like I should do it, my sense of human decency and emotions reminded me of Lewis.. Specifically at San Carlo.. I stared blankly at Sjin. His bruises, bites and marks had been healing well. What if go too far and hurt him? I felt so conflicted.

I started to turn when I realized we'd shown up at the beginning of the neighborhood. At this point I really started to panic. Fuck fuck fuck! I felt my heart beat start race. I rushed my thoughts to try and think of a favor to ask of him, regardless of moral and human decency. I could have him take care of my, um.. Erection.. I flushed deep red. I had no time to rethink it, we were only a block away. I felt my worry grow ten fold as we pulled into the driveway. I was physically trembling. I opened my car door and walked around to open his. "Hey," I swiped the hair out of his face. He was still asleep after all of that. "Wake up." I gently kissed his forehead. His stopped mid-snore and blinked awake. He rolled his shoulders back and his neck in a circle. "Oh. Hi, Sips." He smiled sleepily. It was then that I started to stutter. "H-Hey." He didn't seem to notice. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight." He giggled. I tried to laugh with him, but it came out as a nervous chuckle. He tried to blink away the sleepiness. "You okay?" His voice was soft yet scratchy, which was surprisingly comforting. "W-What, me? Of c-c-course I'm oka.. Okay.." My face lit up and my cheeks glowed pink.