The Barbarous Us-KTH FF (Book I)

FIFTY NINE

"I do love you," I whispered to myself. Falling to my knees, I gathered my things and put them back into the closet.

Tracing my tattoo on my wrist, I sighed. He was right. I did love the idea of power when we got married. I was so excited to be marrying a Kim, and Kim Seokjin at that. I thought all my pain would go away. But in the back of my mind, I could still hear his voice sometimes. He was like this never-ending part of me that wouldn't go away. No matter how many times I tried to wash him off me, he was still there. I married Seokjin for a lot of reasons. First because I really did love him, and second, because I knew he wouldn't dare come after me as a Kim. I thought I could have it all—the fame, the husband, and the protection. Jin thought it was his fault we couldn't have children, but the truth was it was mine. It was because of what that monster and his friends did to me. They broke me.

Even after all this time, I still couldn't speak about it. I felt disgusted with myself, and at first I thought Jin would be, too. I knew better now. I knew he loved me, which is why I knew he would hunt him down. I just didn't know if I was ready to face that darkness yet. Y/N had taken the seat I wanted, but I had Jin. I still hated her, but I had Jin and I wasn't ready to lose him yet either. So I would bow and kiss the fucking ring.

Y/N'S POV

"I hate you," I hissed again as I ate my French toast.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, flipping the files in front of him. "We're in public, sweetheart."

"They can all fuck themselves with these dull knives for all I bloody care." I looked around his favorite restaurant to find at least ten pairs of eyes staring at us as if we were some kind of movie stars. Well, we were some kind of stars, but it was still annoying as fuck.

"Careful, they may stop seeing you as Korea's darling." He smirked, drinking his coffee in disdain. I knew he would prefer brandy and right now, so would I.

"They can have their fake darling back after we dump Jaemin and Saige's bodies in one of the Oceans," I said.

"Patience, love."

Gripping the knife in my hands, I felt my nostrils flare. "To hell with patience. It's been four months since their wedding. Since then, they have burned half our fields in Mexico, killed seven of our men in Italy, and cut off thirty percent of our weed from the eastern Korea. Which you should know costs us about a hundred million every week. I want their heads on a stake, and I wanted it fucking yesterday. But somehow, you fucking convinced me to wait. So fuck you and fuck them and fuck this goddamn hat I have to fucking wear!"

I wanted to take off the giant yellow sun hat and throw it at him, but that would bring too much attention to myself. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to breathe. The past four months had been an all-out war. The Songs were coming at us with everything they had. We expected as much. However, with the cops now watching us more than ever, our actions were limited. The Songs were most likely behind that as well, but right now, I was ready to bomb the police station, kill the Songs, and move on. But instead, I was in a stupid five star restaurant, waiting on the motherfucking real housewives of Seoul for some charity shit.

"First, that is a lot of fucks. Second, your hat is nice." He smirked as I glared. "And we will find an opening soon. However, right now the plan we came up with last night is the one we're sticking with."

"I was high off sex and couldn't think straight," I snapped, drinking the sorry excuse for tea they offered me.

"But that is where all our master plans are created."

"Really? Isn't that where you came up with the plan to pump more heroin into Busan? Now the mayor is involved."

He leaned back in his chair with no care in the world. "That's only because his idiot daughter went and overdosed. He's busy blaming dealers as if we held the needle to her arm. His bad parenting is apparently our fault. Mayor or no mayor, it was a good idea. The demand is growing."

"Taehyung ." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "We keep going like this, we are going to be stretched too thin. We can't fight Seoul and Busan with Songs still screwing us. The mayor is going to be doubling down his efforts to trace it."

"Fine," he hissed, leaning in. "We stay neutral for now. We have a shipment coming in tonight that I will redirect and hold. But the moment the Songs are out of the picture, we are pushing hard."

"Deal. In the meantime, we can up the weed. The shit is almost legal anyway, and both coasts are addicted." Weed was as good as gold now. We sold to medical pharmacies where it was legal, and small street gangs where it wasn't.

"Then it's settled . . ." He paused causing me to look over at the door where Commissioner Baek fucking Chen made his way toward us.

"Who do you call when it's the police who are stalking you?" I sighed, looking over to Taehyung , who glared at the man approaching.

"Us."

Commissioner Baek fucking Chen placed two sliver badges on the table, causing Taehyung and me to share a quick glance.

"Shiny." Taehyung snickered, taking a sip of his coffee. "Is there a reason why you are putting that filth on my table?"

Chen looked like he had aged at least ten years in the last four months. "The officers your men killed today were fresh out of the academy."

"You should be careful of what you accuse people of Commissioner," I hissed, looking around the room once more. No one could hear us, but he was being fucking stupid.

"You even had their families killed, didn't you?" He laughed bitterly, ignoring me completely.

"Commissioner—"

"A six year old girl now has no family, thanks to you! I know you're the ones behind Jung and Lim! You people are sick! You will burn in hell!"

"Commissioner! Have you lost your mind?" Taehyung yelled, standing up as two guards walked toward us.

"Maybe I have!" the man yelled as the guards held him back. "But you won't remain untouchable forever! One day, someone is going to make you all pay for your crimes."

"Get this man out of here, he is upsetting my wife!" Taehyung screamed as the guards pulled him away.

Upsetting me? Fuck that, this shit was funny as hell but I could play the damsel in distress. I guess.

"Fuckin' Kim wouldn't be in power forever! Just wait, someone is gonna pay you back tenfold, and I will laugh, you monsters!" he said, like the joker.

"Get him out!" Taehyung roared again, while I placed my hand to my heart like a good damsel in distress.

When he was gone, the manager ran toward us, bowing so low you would think he was trying to kiss Taehyung 's cock . . . jeez. 

"I am so sorry, Mr. Kim, please . . ."

"It's not a problem. Please, just keep that man away from our family," Taehyung said before taking a seat back down. He waited for the room to return to order before staring at me with hard eyes.

"You were the one who ordered it?" he asked me.

"Yes," I replied back, unsure about why he looked like I was the one he wanted to kill.