Blank Slate | ONC2023

Chapter Four.2: Don't Trust Anyone, Even Yourself

Leaning back on the counter, I clutch my mug and watch as Aben, Galah, and David set up thermographic cameras around my apartment.

They're dressed in everyday clothing, though Aben still wears his wrap-around glasses and Galah has a scarf wrapped around her mouth and nose. They look normal, and if I hadn't known they were the deadliest heroes in the region, I could've mistaken them for citizens.

David catches my eye and raises his vibrantly blue eyebrows. Well, except for him. He still sticks out like a sore thumb—if sore thumbs were blue and had the walk of a superstar.

Giving my head a quick shake, I drop my gaze to my mug and press farther into the shadows, wishing they'd just leave. They insisted on coming back with me to set up the security systems (that I talked them into using instead of placing me in a safe house with other heroes) and I have no way to refuse. Installing them now rather than later is a sensible move, but I wish I had found some excuse.

I want to be alone and sort out all the information I gathered without needing to be acutely aware of everything I do. I want to be alone and eat something without worrying about how white my fingers are. Megabytes, I want to actually blank something instead of holding it in!

And I can't do that with heroes in my home. Can't do that with David glancing over his shoulder to check on me. Frustration growls under my skin, tossing a ball of knotted impatience from one foot to the other.

Patience, Denizen. Patience. I can't be mad at him. He's been nothing but nice this entire time—even with me humming and hawing at virtually everything they wanted to do, especially the medical check ups.

Heat prickles the back of my neck and I glare into my drink, the echoes of the way I made a fool of myself bouncing back to me. What a pitiful mess I must be to them, so afraid of medical equipment, blood tests, and even simple scanners that I wouldn't let them close.

I didn't mean to use fear as my excuse, but that's what they took it as. In a way, I am afraid of those things. Afraid of what they could find.

One nick of blood and they'll find the parasite in my body giving me—and all heroes and villain—supernatural abilities. One dose of medicine might send me into deadly anaphylactic shock. One wave of a scanner and my face—my body—will be in their systems and perhaps, somehow, match up with Blank Slate's appearance.

It's not worth the risk to let them close. Not worth saving my dignity.

Still, the heat burns in my ears and crawls under my skin, stinging every time David looks at me. If only I could scrub his memory clean and make him forget that I ever existed.

The beating of my heart slows and my body stills. If only? No, I...could do it. I have the power to wipe memories. I could make him—make all of them—forget.

For a moment, the possibility looms before me, tantalizingly sweet like the smell of freshly baked donuts. I can make them forget. Just one touch and poof, no more memory. No more need to pretend. No more worry.

The corner of my lip twitches and I shake mouse-brown curls out of my eyes. Ha. If only it were that easy. Wiping memories is what got me here in the first place. The auto-played message was pretty clear on that; breaking rule six, never use your power on any living thing, has extreme consequences.

"How are you holding up?"

Ice jolts down my arms and into my numb fingers at David's voice. Inwardly wincing, I set down the mug and stuff my hands into my pockets before he can notice their almost total colorlessness. "I'm..." Extremely sick of heroes and wishing I followed rules better. "...hanging in there, I guess."