two damaged people, trying to heal each other is love - R.H. - a priyankit fic.

chapter 5

Priyanka

Priyanka sobs walking inside. She feels like her heart is about to burst. She can't tell if it is out of happiness or out of hurt. This was what she wanted a couple of years ago right? For Ankit to accept her. And now that she finally got it. Why can't she seem to trust him? A part of her is saying that this is wrong. That he can't love. He will only want to be alone sometime.

But their shared kiss ruined her. She can't go back. She's not here nor his. She can't even look Rohan into his eyes.

Rohan walks towards her, picking her up. He wipes her tears and tries to shush her.

She still hears his voice in her ears. She feels his touch over her cheeks. If she closes her eyes, the face she tried to forget is right in her mind, clear as ever. The thing she hated the most is that his touch feels so right and Rohan touching her right now feels so wrong.

Just one touch. One talk and it broke her. All her walls that she had built up. She promised herself that she wouldn't talk to him, that she wouldn't look his way. His soft eyes lured her in, set her in a trap made by himself and wouldn't let her go.

She closes her eyes and tries to get a hold on herself. Rohan keeps asking her what's wrong and she can't bring herself to tell him what her heart is going through. If it was Ankit, it would be so easy by now. He would hold me and all my problems would be solved. Priyanka shook her head to get rid of the thoughts. She couldn't open her mouth and tell Rohan what was in her heart no matter how close she was to him. No matter what relationship she had with him.

"I want to go home" Was the only thing Priyanka was able to say.

Ankit

Ankit was in no mood to stay at the party. He had already met all of his co-stars and had caught up with them. There was nothing more that he wanted to do over there. He wanted nothing more than to get drunk, to stop this feeling in his heart. He wanted to feel numb, just like he did before.

He wished he didn't let her in just like that. But he knows that it was his fault to start with. And now he is going through all this because of his own faults. He closes his eyes and rests his head on his steering wheel. His eyes are red, his body is exhausted and his mind only has one girl in it.

This is why he didn't want to fall in love. He was scared and he got into the same situation again. He was scared of falling and now that he's in too deep, he doesn't know how to get back up. He needs her to help him up. But she's not there anymore.

Priyanka

Once home, Priyanka took off her heels and changed her clothes. She removed her earrings and her makeup and laid down in bed. She felt a weight dip into the mattress and knew that it was Rohan.

Rohan sits on her bed beside her, "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Priyanka feels so guilty. That she wasn't able to control herself and lost herself in the kiss and his touch. What could she tell him? That she kissed a guy she loves. Loved, she didn't love him.

Rohan sighs. He motions for Priyanka to come forward into his lap. "I'll always be here for you" He starts off, as he starts to play with her hair the minute she lays her head on her lap.

"But I need you to be honest. Is your heart with someone else?"

Her heart and mind said two different things. Her heart confidently said that yes, she loved him. And her brain kept saying that she didn't, that it's a trap where she's the one who's going to end up hurt. Priyanka remained quiet.

"Your silence is saying a lot, Priyanka"

"It's not like that"

"Who are you lying to? Yourself? The world? Or me? I already saw what happened outside"

Priyanka froze at the last couple of words. No, no, no.

"I'm sorry," she cries out. "It was in the spur of the moment, you know I would never want to hurt you"

"That's the last thing I care about. Why are you torturing yourself in a relationship when you're so in love with someone else. That guy, your eyes say that it's him you're in love with. You would never feel more for anyone else besides him and you know it. I've never seen you look at me like that"

Tears flow freely down her face as she knows what's coming. Her world that she created in order for her to feel normal was slowly crumbling and those pieces all landed at her feet.

Why is it that every time she is led back to him? When all things are wrong, she's brought back into his arms. She was linked with him many times before and they weren't even together.

"We should end this. I'll always be your friend but this guy is your world"

At this point, Priyanka had expected the words. She grows silent and gets up from Rohan's lap. He wipes her tears and pulls her closer to him. "We think good things and move on, right? Good friends till the end. This doesn't change things"

Once Rohan leaves, Priyanka wraps herself up in her blanket. She curls herself into a ball and closes her eyes tight. When she closes her eyes, she sees Ankit's face. His bloodshot eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. If she tried hard enough she could still feel the remains of his touch on her skin. It's as if he's burned them into her skin so that she wouldn't forget him. She recalls the way he gently held her chin, her cheeks, and his arm around her waist.

She yearns for more. The Ankit in her dream gives her everything she wishes for. He gives her the world if she would just ask for it. When she opens her eyes, the traces of the touch disappears and she's left in a dark room, all alone with no trace of Ankit. Her bed is cold and she's alone.

Priyanka sniffles and grabs one of her stuffed toys and hugs them to her chest, playing with their head. She can't trust him, just not yet.