Short Writes

Black Velvet and Crown Royal

My father, an alcoholic; my mother, borderline crazy.
     My life is I guess you could say chaotic. So many fights, so much pain, so many tears, so much yelling, so many ups, and downs. It's something you wouldn't want to live through. But, hey don't be sorry for me, that's even worse. I'm here and I'm fine, right? "Lorelei." My father called me into the living room. My body tensed up, "here we go again". Walking into the room you were hit with it. That smell, he reeked of it. The usual blend of Black Velvet and Crown Royal. A bitter-sweet smell that made you nauseous. He's been drinking. You could see it, he was unsteady in his feet, and he looked out of it. All I could think is "this isn't gonna end well".
"Yeah?" I said, trying to keep my distance. Standing close to him while he was like this makes you feel frightened, nervous, and even timid. Something about him just hovered over you making you feel trapped. He said, "I need you to watch the other two. I have to go do something." His words were running together, it was almost incomprehensible. I shook my head and stood there because I knew if I walked away he'd yell.
He walked toward the table grabbing his keys, he almost fell as he reached down. He waddled his way to the door leaning on the walls. I looked as if something was pulling him toward the wall. As he threw himself toward the door, he opened it. "How long will you be gone?" Instant regret hit my body as I saw him turn around. You could see anger built up in his eyes. "None of your damn business Lorelei. Why do you always ask so many fucking questions? Just go to your room, I don't want to listen to your shit right now." He was spitting after every word, he was slurring just like before, he was yelling at me like I did something wrong. I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
Hours have passed and no parent is home. My father left around noon. It's now 7 pm. My body begins to feel anxious. I'm 8 years old, I'm not supposed to look after a 6 and 2-year-old. I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to be home alone. I'm not supposed to look after myself with no one to look over me. I'm supposed to have parents who take care of me. I'm supposed to have what everyone else has. What do I do? Aviva was starting to get hungry. What do I do? She's a baby and we have no food for her. What do I do? We only have "big kid" food, our father was supposed to go to the store yesterday but he slept all day. What do I do? "When will mom be home?" Vesper had asked. I had no idea, she was supposed to be back from work almost an hour ago. What do I do? Vesper has practice soon. What do I do? Aviva screamed at the top of her lungs. What do I do? The room is spinning. What do I do?  I can't breathe. What do I do? Someone, please help me. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What. Do. I. Do?