𝘽𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙆 | 𝙇𝙀𝙀 𝙁𝙀𝙇𝙄𝙓

5

Felix POV

I felt like an absolute genius when I realized we could be in an alternative reality where we were all what we would've wanted to be if we didn't end up being idols.

Jisung was the first member I thought of when wondering what they could be doing. I remember him always saying that no matter where he would be, he'd always do something invlolving music in his life.

So that's why I was searching on sketchy sites for a producing job, in hopes of finding him. I think I've gone through at least five of those already, but I cannot just give up; I'd feel incredibly bad.

I thought back to when I shared my theory to Gab and now I can quite understand why she was giving me that puzzled look. I mean, I'm not the best at explaining, I just tell something without thinking and hope I'm being clear.

I'll try explaining better next time, that is only if I'm correct, because right now I still have no trace of Jisung, or any of the members at all.

The only person I could recognize was that same guy from all the other sites searching for a 'cute girl that has a sexy voice' for his 'brand new Valentine's album.' I highly doubt this would be one of my friends, because the guy on the picture looked old and he was bald...

I grimaced when I saw him for what felt like the hundredth time and I quickly scrolled past him. I really cannot see that face anymore.

As I reached the end of the page, I exited it and went to the next site. This one had a cool design to it and it was exclusively for rappers and rap music producers. My heart started beating faster, as my hopes went up a little. Maybe there was a chance I could find either Jisung, Changbin or Chan on here.

None of them could be Pussydestroyer4k or Absolute Weed King Trev... Right?

No, because just when I was about to click on one of those profiles, I saw Jisung's face right under them: J.One. That's his name for 3RACHA.

I could feel my tears tightening my throat, I'd been searching for at least one of them for two months and I finally found one out of seven. I had to take a little pause from all of the searching to calm down, but right as I pushed myself away from my computer, I started sobbing.

I didn't know if it was from relief, stress, happiness, sadness or maybe it was all of them all at once.

I curled myself into a ball on my chair, hiding my face with my knees and arms. I didn't know why I was overreacting, but I couldn't stop my tears from falling down my eyes and my nose was also starting to run. As disgusting as it was of me to do, I wiped it all on my pants and after some more crying, I went back to my computer.

I was still hiccuping and crying very much, but I still slid into his DM's to ask for collaboration. My vision was blurry, so I didn't look for any spelling mistakes as I wrote my message. It was something along the lines of 'Hello, J.One. I'd like to meet up to talk about buisness. I'd like to be your producing partner, thanks I'm free anytime.' Well, I didn't write it like this, but you get what I mean.

I pressed send quickly, before I started overthinking it and having another breakdown. Now, I still had that breakdown but it didn't obstruct my goals of meeting up with Jisung.

I stood up from my seat and stormed into the kitchen to get a glass of water and a bag of chips. I was more than hungry and eating something could certainly calm me down. I decided I would not go back to my bedroom before finishing and I stood by the counter, staring at the oven as I ate my snack.

Now, what if he didn't accept my offer? I didn't even look at his description or any of his requirements so I had no idea how this would turn out... Maybe I could ask him to be friends instead? That was kind of creepy but that was the only backup plan I had.

No, Jisung would accept my offer. I know he would, because this guy is always willing to give at least one chance to everyone to experience something such as making music. He would accept my offer for sure.

I quickly felt my tears drying on my cheeks, they felt like a crust on my skin now and it disgusted me. I quickly wiped them with my sleeve and I ate the last crumbs of the chips in my bag. I put it into a ball and I threw it in the trash, before washing my hands and drinking all of the water I had in my glass.

Should I call Gab to let her know I found someone? I knew this new would make her freak out, but I didn't know how I would tell her and maybe I would start crying again over the phone, which was embarrassing to think about so I decided I would tell her over text.

I found Jisung
On some music site

I didn't wait for her answer and I went back to my bedroom, where I saw a little notification at the bottom of my screen. My heart stopped beating for a second and for some reason my cheeks heated up: I was definitely getting nervous.

Hey Felix! I'd love to talk buisness with you. How about we meet up tomorrow for lunch? I'm pretty excited to see what you have to offer.

- Han Jisung, aka J.One. ;)

Oh, this was definitely a Jisung answer. I scoffed as I read for the second time and I answered I would indeed be at the location he sent me.

I felt tears threatening to come out again, so I quickly closed my computer and I ran to the bathroom so I could just cry while I take a shower.