Vent book (remake)

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(this chapter has mentions panic attacks ) 

As I sit on the floor in the bathroom I try to take deep breaths chest feels tighter by the minute starting to cry more and more feeling more guilty by the minute.

I try to stand up to dip my hand in cold water by fall as soon as I try banging my knees on the floor first I start to sob more as I just lay on the bathroom floor.

I try to text someone anyone to vent to.

Not even 1 person answered no one until my friend did he listened to everything I had to say and even gave me tips on how to calm down. But the tears never went away and I felt like a knew why, was my heart that broken because I and a girl got into a fight?

Or was it just me being to emotional I didn't know and probably will never know why.

Was my heart that fucking confused? Am I lovesick? what am I feeling? Does anyone know? Will anyone know?   

When will all my rage and pain end? 

My mind was confused but my heart wasn't my heart was thinking about someone that probably wants nothing to do with me. 

I text my friend thank you and continue to cry quietly to myself.

I knew I missed them I knew it but I didn't know I missed them this bad... 

Was I the one at fault for getting too attached to someone...? I feel like I was and I shouldn't get attached to someone ever again...

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End of this chapter 

I am proud of you for getting up in the morning

I am proud of you for Brushing your hair and teeth 

I am proud of you for Taking a shower/bath 

I am proud of you for taking care of yourself

I am proud of you for being yourself 

I am proud of you for eating

I am proud of you for drinking water 

I am proud of you for doing what makes you happy 

I am proud of you for making friends 

I am proud of you for talking to people 

I am proud of you for not giving up 

I am proud of you for talking to anyone you trust about your feelings