Hopeless Love

Us

Chapter 9

"After the wreckage
After the dust
I still hear the howling,
I still feel the rush
Over the riots, above all the noise
Through all the worry, I still hear your voice."
Us, James Bay

The day had arrived that Cordelia had been dreading for weeks: Daniel's departure. She woke up that morning with vile in her throat, something that always happened when her anxiety came to visit. She dragged herself from her bed and into the shower where cold water hit her, making her cry out in surprise.

'What a way to start this terrible day,' she thought to herself as she adjusted the temperature and let the water splash her in the face.

She knew it was only five months.
Five months without him.
She could do that.
Right?

She had bought a new dress for this day; it was white with spaghetti straps and the top half had a lace overlay, forming patterned lace sleeves that went just past her shoulders. The lacey pattern continued down the center of the dress, starting at the neck and ending at the waist, where the fabric was bunched. The hem hit just at her knees and she completed the look with a pair of white ballerina flats.

She had decided to put her hair up into a top knot, leaving a strand out along the right side of her face.

After she had completed her makeup, she sprayed lavender perfume on her wrists, and one spritz on her dress. She wanted Daniel to have that scent with him whenever she hugged him goodbye down at the docks. For this reason, she had been writing letters to him every day for a week and had sprayed the fragrance on the letters, as well. The letters had been hard for her to write-- putting down her feelings for him. He was the only person besides Matilda that she had openly expressed her emotions with...ever. She simply had been taught to put on a façade for the better of the "business".

Dearest Daniel, the first letter had begun.
It is in my humble opinion that the sun rises and sets with you. I had never seen daylight so clearly until I saw you on the dock on that first day. I was walking with my friends and then, there was only you; there is only you. In my world of parties, press, and formality, you take me out on your boat alone and I can sense more love than I ever have in those dank, decorated rooms of my father's mansion. You've taken a being that was numb and made her feel again, my darling.
It's in the way you look at me with those brown eyes of yours that make me come alive. How you touch me with your fingertips that awakens every nerve in my body. It's as though I cannot remember how my life was before you entered it; going to December without seeing you is going to be torturous for me. I will ache for you and pray for you until we are back in each other's arms again. I love you and I like you, even when you think you can beat me at basketball.
F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best in The Great Gatsby whenever he writes, "There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice." (This was part of our summer reading assignment for senior year). She added with a smiley face.
I'll be waiting for you.
I'll be holding my locket tight and wearing your mother's ring.
I'll be right here when you get back.
Until then,
Cordelia.

She knew she had become a romantic over the last year and a half, but she just couldn't help herself.
Between her love for writing and her love for Daniel, she couldn't help it.

She shoved seven lavender-scented envelopes into her messenger bag and quietly exited her bedroom, turning around and shutting the door behind her.

"And where exactly do we think we are going at seven in the morning?" Her father's booming voice said from where he was, fully dressed in his three-piece suit, leaning up against the wall across from her room.

Cordelia gulped and her breath quickened, "I uh, I'm meeting Olivia and the girls for breakfast at the bakery," she lied.

He walked toward her, jerking the bag from her arm and throwing it on the floor, scattering the letters addressed to Daniel over the tile.

"Like hell that's who you're going to meet, Cordelia."

He grabbed her forearm and held her against her bedroom door, "How long did you honestly think I was going to let this go on, dear daughter? I know you've been seeing this boy for at least the last few months, how much longer has it been?"

She tried to pull away from him, "It's none of your business."

He set the whole thing up, just as she had suspected.

He was sending Daniel away from her.

She had to get to Daniel, had to tell him not to go.

She glanced at the hall clock; she was going to miss him at the docks.
"Father, please, please let me go," Cordelia pleaded, which only made him hold to her arm tighter. "You don't have a right to keep me from him!" She shouted.

This struck a nerve with Silas whose eyes were now full of rage. "Just what rights do you think YOU have?" He questioned, "I control this entire state. I control this house and that includes you. You would have nothing without me, and nothing is exactly what you'll have by staying with that boy. Did you honestly think I was not going to find out? That once I did, I would allow you to what—shack up with a police officer's son? We are better than that scum, Cordelia Conrad," his voice echoed through the corridor. He opened her bedroom door, shoving her inside and locking it with a key behind him.

Cordelia fell in a heap through the doorway, her white dress now stained with spots of black mascara. She heard the click of the key in the knob but tried to open it anyway. She banged on the door, yelling for anyone who might hear her. Before she knew it, she was completely hyperventilating from panic and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Once doing so, she laid her cheek on the cool tile and sobbed; sobbed for Daniel, for her future, for her freedom, which she now knew was taken from her.

At the dock, Daniel was in sitting in his truck with Christopher in utter confusion. He knew he had told Cordelia the right time to meet him, he was certain of it.

"Dude, we have to leave soon, or we won't make it," Christopher urged.

Daniel shook his head, "I can't leave until she's here; I have to say goodbye to her, Chris." His voice was anxiety-filled.

They waited fifteen more minutes for Cordelia and when there was no sign of her, Christopher said to Daniel, "This is what I've been afraid of, man. You knew it was going to come to this, she's not going to show."

Casting doubt into Daniel's mind was the last thing he needed, but the stone couldn't be un thrown. Maybe she had thought the wrong time? But then, what if she had changed her mind about him? He waved his hand to shut Christopher up and drove to the park to leave her a note in the loose brick by the swings. He had to at least tell her goodbye in some way. He scribbled quickly on the piece of paper that he found and laid it in its place.

Delia-I love you.
Please don't give up on us.
-Daniel

His heart was broken to not be able to say goodbye to her, to hold her one last time before he left. He gathered his clothing and personal items with Christopher and headed into the airport, hoping they would make it in time for their flight. Little did he know that across town, deals were being made with the devil, and his Delia was powerless to stop any of it.