Hurt

Chapter 8

I wake up slowly, feeling warm and sort of fuzzy. The sun is warming me, and so is the coat I never took off

And so is Claire.

Claire.

I'm on my side now, our bodies pressed together, her back against my stomach, me with my body curled around hers. Spooning.

Spooning?

Dear Jesus, I'm spooning.

I slip my arm from under her side and get up quickly and quietly.

Niall is watching me with dark eyes.

"What are you doing Harry?" Niall says. He sounds emotionless.

"I...I was...I was just spooning..."

The lads and us have a joke. "Never spooning, only forking!" I've never spooned with anyone in my life.

I've never cared that much.

I've also never just slept with anyone either. No sex. Just sleeping. Just being near eachother.

"Harry. You're scared. I get it. But you can't leave someone like that. Especially someone special, like her. She'll get taken real quick. Plenty of guys will appreciate her for who she is if you don't make a move."

Niall sounds off, almost empty. I frown a little bit. He still has his knees up to his chin, and he's staring off moodily and his skin seems even paler than usual.

"Niall are you ok?" I ask hesitantly.

"Just grand thanks for asking," he says bitterly.

His cheekbones look hollow. Or is that the shadow? And he looks so small and alone.

I get a bad feeling in my stomach. You know when you're so close to someone you can just feel when things are going wrong?

That feeling has come to me now.

"Niall?"

"What?"

"Stand up please," I say shakily.

I think back to earlier. When I hugged him. How prominent his ribs felt against my fingers.

Niall tiredly unfolds himself from the chair and stands before me, looking somewhat rumpled.

His clothes look so big on him.

"Niall lift up your shirt."

"What?!"

"It sounds weird but do it!"

Niall hesitantly lifts his shirt up.

All ribs. No skin.

"Roll up your sleeves."

"Harry-"

"DO IT!" I scream unable to contain my temper and hurt.

Niall silently obeys, slowly rolling the sleeves of his shirt up.

Cuts. Long and small. Thick and thin. Some white with age, some red in their youth, their nearness to the air.

I turn away from Niall, putting a hand over my eyes, and breath deeply to refrain from freaking out.

Niall is silent behind me.

I knew Niall was insecure. He always has been.

I never thought it would lead to this.

"Niall what the hell."

"Harry I-"

"You said you were fine. You said it wouldn't come to this. You said you were over your issues."

"I know but-"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE," I repeat at the top of my lungs, as I turn around in fury.

How dare he do this to himself? How dare he sink this low? How dare he do this to me? How dare he?

"You lied Niall."

"Harry-"

"Please. Save it. I've seen enough."

"Harry, I need your help right now!"

"I thought you were fine."

Niall has no reply.

"Harry...."

"Please. Just go."

I hear the door click shut silently.

I sit down on the edge of the bed, put my head in my hands, and weep.