What's the point in waking up if you are hated my absolutely everyone around you?The hated is unbelievable. When I was younger I thought there was a reason to live, but then again I was young, now I think its pointless. I miss the times as kids, you didn't care what you wore, you played with you friends, who you knew wouldn't be around forever but believed it. But now I go through the same process everyday- Wake up, go to school, get called Whore, Bitch and Cunt. I have had 3 suicide attempts but obviously failed. I have tried counseling but they gave up on me because I didn't speak and my insurance wouldn't pay for it anymore and my family wouldn't dream of paying for it . It's like I'm a puppet my family has always expected me to be the perfect daughter that everyone would expect because the rest of my family is like that. I ruin the perfect family. This is what I think every morning when I hear the beep from my alarm clock. I take my time getting up, the first thing I look at is the mirror, immediately regretting it because I want to punch my reflection. You know what I see when I look into the mirror : A life wasted on a worthless piece of crap. I hate myself so fucking much. I understand why I'm hated, I'm just me, Audrey. Marie. Smith I mean who could love me. The summer of 07 my best friend Elijah committed suicide , I should have been a true friend. I could've saved him. I should've been there for him but I wasn't. He was the only one who picked up my pieces when I fell apart. "You should have done the same" a voice echos in my head.When I think childhood friend, I think Elijah. Elijah was the most beautiful person you could've met, despite his own problems, he continued to care for me. Despite me not being important and waste of time. I wish he would've just saved himself instead of me, because he was such much more than me and was going to go places. But now there is no one to pick the pieces up. Elijah was the first boy I ever loved and with be the last. I look out the window to see a new family moving in the house across the from mine. Oh great another family, there is a different family every week. Someone catches my attention, I see a boy that looks around my age, he is cover in tattoo's I wonder what the tattoo's are. He reminds me of Elijah. I wonder if he goes to my school but then again why go to school, when I can light myself on fire and feel the same. I end up slipping on a pair of black jeans, a white top, a black jacket and my white vans. I just brush my hair deciding to leave it down, I just wished I looked good. Now time for the gasoline to my fire, seeing my family. I walk down my stairs to see my "family" sitting at the table.
"Audrey, we need to talk." My mom says with the stupid motherly stern voice.
"Okay." I mumble, because I prefer to say very little, because whatever I say is going to be wrong or stupid."
"We have new neighbors, and I think you should make frie-"
"She is probably going to make one of them kill themselves to get away from her, like Elijah did." My bother, Sam says interrupting my mom. Also causing awkward silence. I am trying my best not to cry because crying shows weakness and I don't want to show that I am weak. Especially not to my family.
"They are coming over for dinner, you have until then to clean up your act." My so-called father says.
"Okay." I mumble, trying not to roll my eyes because that's just asking for it.
"God damn it, Audrey. Is "okay" all you say!" My dad yells, standing up from the table and slamming his fist down walking over to me. I know he is going to release his anger.
"Answer me!" he yells in my ear before he pushes me against the wall causing me to fall in pain. I feel a strong pain in my stomach, I am not going to let this happening, this is not happening. To everyone surprise, including myself I get up, grabbing my bag and walking out the door. I may have slammed the door but I too worried to check. Maybe becoming friends with this mystery boy, maybe a good idea. A idea to piss my parents off and also because I could use a distraction. I think relationships are pointless though, because you always end up hurt in the end, its just another reason to cut. Elijah use to tell me it's better to brake a heart then have your heart broken. Since he has been gone, I live by that quote. The walk to school was quicker then I thought. I walk to the my first class- Science, which I'm late too. I try to slip in without the teacher realizing but with my luck, I drop my books causing everyone to look and stare and some people make comments like- " Idiot, Retard, Whore and my favorite Unwanted." Once I pick up my books I go to the seat that I always sit at, I see the seat next to mine which is usually empty, has someone sitting at it not just anyone either- my new neighbor. I guess I stare because he makes the comment " Take a picture, it will last longer." I cant help but to think "so unoriginal." I have been in the same room as him for 2 minutes and I already know he is a utter douche. I guess we wont be becoming "friends." anytime soon. I feel his eyes burning into me, what a convenience. He should really take his own advice.
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Hi. .This is my 1st story, I'm not the best writer and I know that it sucks but It's worth a try. I am looking forward to see what you guys think. If you thinks that there is something I could work on or something that will make my story better please just comment away. I am going to try to update every time I get a chance.
P.S if you haven't been able to tell yet, I am quite awkward.
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Runaway (L.H)
Teen Fiction" Let's runaway. We were born to be free as birds, especially together."
