Try

Chapter 1- Next part

I didn't have this feeling growing up, almost like I was waiting for something painful you know?
And I think I had this feeling when I was with Patrick. That's probably one of the reasons why we were so attached.

When we started seeing each other, we got along fast on pretty much everything. At least, that's what we thought.

Indeed, the problems started after a couple of months. In the beginning, the thing between Patrick and I was a mix of physical and emotional attraction because of our common messed-up past, and with time it became something real.
We were more than happy and into each other. He was so romantic, calm, and a fantastic listener, but things got worse when he started drinking a lot, like, way too much. I didn't realize it was a problem until he almost crashed us into a tree when we were leaving a party.
AndI know you realized that it was a real and serious issue before I did and I am sorry that I never listened to you. I should have. I know I should. However, I was too stupid to see it and I guess it's tough to admit that the man you want to spend the rest of your life with is an alcoholic.

With his drinking problem, he was almost killing himself and me on his way. He kept pushing and pushing me to leave him, so I would "leave him alone to suffer" as he said. And now that I took a step back, I see that he was acting like this because he was sick and that his only motive was seeing how far my love for him could go and what my limits were.

But, stupid as I was, I stayed because I didn't want to leave him or even to stop being around him because I loved him. I just wanted to help him through this situation and even help him to get into rehab and, of course, to be present during this entire healing process he was going to go through when in rehab. The whole situation where we were getting into fights every time we saw each other lasted about three or four months until I seriously realized things needed to be taken care of.

It was an ordinary morning, rainy and quite cold. As usual, when I woke up, I turned around to face him and to be able to cuddle with him, but when I stretched my arm to touch him, he wasn't in bed, which was something unusual because it was like our morning routine, him waiting for me to wake up, or the other way around, so that we could rest a bit before starting the day. When I got to the kitchen, he was already sitting at the table with a glass of Jameson. That's when I lost it. I mean, you were sleeping in another room. He was already drinking before noon. I couldn't accept that, so I took the bottle and emptied it into the sink. Of course, I knew he wasn't going to be delighted about that.
But his next move honestly got me off guard.