I honestly have a problem. I can't keep people in my life. I lose everyone so easily. And I fear I soon will lose you too. I can't do anything right. I feel like I'm always making the same mistakes. But if I wasn't here tomorrow, would you care? I've lost friends. I've lost lovers. I've lost myself. Please. I want to change. I want to be someone else. I do not want to be sad. I don't want to throw up after every panic attack. I want help. I want to be cared for. But there's no one who wants to care. But if people care for me, I don't realize it. I feel like everyone's lying to me. I feel like every time I'm called anything nice, I feel like I'm lied to. I want to love myself. I want to love who I am. I want to be proud of myself. But I am so dependent on others because I can not love myself. No one wants to help me anymore, they've all given up. But if you do help me now and I do not realize it, please stay. Please. I feel truly sorry for bothering people when I'm sad. I should stop talking to people. Maybe that would be best for me.
