make you miss me • q. hughes

13

"Okay, never have I ever..." Trevor pauses and sighs. "Never have I ever got caught by a parent."

"Caught?" Val asks. Her cup is already up to take a drink.

"Like caught."

I take a drink. Val puts her cup back down. It's silent as everyone stares at me. I'm not telling them the story. Shit's embarrassing. We're all sat around the fire pit. I got out here last and ended up on one of the loveseats with Quinn. Guess nobody else wanted to sit with him. Across from us in the other one's Alex and Jack. V, Luke, and Trevor are in the three chairs. There used to be a fourth before someone (Val) managed to set it on fire a few years ago.

"My turn?" V sits up. Drinking games are her favorite. "Okay! Never have I ever tried making someone jealous on purpose."

I drink. So do the two older Hughes boys and Alex. Huh. I didn't expect that. Trevor was who I expected only 'cause the other night we were on the phone and he spilled his guts about how emotional he can get. It's the same for me. But Quinn drinking I didn't expect at all.

Val's thinking the same thing since she asks, "Quinn, who?"

"I'm not telling you guys," he says.

"Oh, come on." I nudge him with my elbow a few times. "Spill."

"Not happening, Scout."

"Don't call me that."

He clears his throat. "Your turn."

"Never have I ever tried making someone here jealous on purpose." I drink and watch Quinn roll his eyes but still take another drink too. Oh, he's so fucked.

"Huggy's turn," Alex says.

"Never have I ever hidden a seven-month relationship with the captain of my brother's hockey team?"

I pull my leg up on the couch to be able to face him. "That's targeted."

"How do you know Jack never did that?" Quinn's eyes look spectacular in the firelight. Not that I'm noticing that or anything.

"Haha." I nod to his cup. "Drink up. Targeting means finishing it off."

"That's stupid." He glances down toward my lips and my heart rate picks up a small, tiny amount. "There's half a sip in here."

"Here, have mine." I hold it out to him. He takes it, our hands brushing way more than they needed to. He finishes it off with no reaction to what I know is a strong drink. God, I want to tear him apart. "Well, refill time. Anyone need one?"

Everyone else shakes their heads. Quinn gets up with me, following me to the kitchen. You can't see into the house from the firepit even if you tried. It's got part of the hill blocking it.

It's the perfect place for everyone to be while Quinn and I are alone.

"I heard you got rejected by Rosie." I'm acting like it's such a nonchalant thing whether he went home with her or not. Busying my hands with the bottles of alcohol on the kitchen island. "Honestly, I could have told you that was coming."

"Why's that?" He mumbles it but I can smell his cologne and know he's right behind me. Waiting for me to give any hint that it's okay.

I laugh. "Have you met yourself?"

"'Cause you're such good company."

"I'm damn good to you. That's why you got rejected."

"What?" He laughs it in this special way he laughs when he can't believe what he's hearing. "I didn't even get rejected."

"My point stands. You didn't leave that bar with her because I'm so damn good to you."

A chill runs up my spine at his hands finally making their way to me. It's not quite there. His fingers brush against my back as he pushes all my hair to one side. All of these gentle exchanges we've been having are driving me insane. The same insane that all the rough, frustrated touches we've had have caused. It's scaring the fuck out of me. But it's too good to stop.

He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. "Yeah, because everything I do revolves around you."

"It should," I whisper.

"You'd like that."

It could have been a statement. A retort. Shutting down the idea by reminding me of my place. Or... there could have been a question to it. A proposition. Exploring the idea of either of us revolving around the other. Not that I want that.

My hands are a bit shaky while I pour us both our refills. "Uh, we should get back out before someone else needs a refill."

Quinn, oh, Quinn. He presses a kiss right where my shoulder seems to meet my neck. It's too intimate and too sweet and too gentle. He takes a few steps back, his arms leaving me to feel the chill where his body just was. I have to take a deep breath and pause for a moment. It's too much. He's too much.

* * * * *

"I am so fucked." It's a drunken panic. Val's laying on my bed as I pace in front of her.

She's fully focused on me. Eyes big, concerned. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I can't-- I can't say."

"Is it Vancouver?"

"Yeah, yeah," I say. "It's Vancouver. I'm scared I'm going to really like it the longer I'm there."

"Everyone wants you to like it, Scouter. If you're there for so long and absolutely hate it, it's not going to end well."

"What if... What if it doesn't like me back?" I don't know what I'm doing. "What if, y'know, I like Vancouver but it's not very keen on me and it's a one-sided thing. Won't that end badly?"

I stop pacing to analyze her reaction. She blinks a few times. She messes with her bottom lip, pinching it a few times. A sigh.  "Is this really about Vancouver? Are you sure it isn't about... New Jersey?"

"It's never going to be about New Jersey."

"Fucking hell." She joins me in the drunken panic, stumbling to her feet in front of me. Her hands grab my face, forcing me to look her in the eyes. "How long?"

"Y'know... Couple of weeks," I mumble.

"How far?"

"A couple thousand miles. Multiple trips."

We'd sound crazy to anyone else. Two drunk girls way too worked up over Vancouver.

"Holy shit, Schuy! And you think--"

"Stop, stop. Don't say it." I mirror her hold, grabbing her face. "I don't know for sure. Sometimes it just seems like it."

"Am I the only one who knows?"

For some reason, I continue with the encoded speech. It's honestly not very smart of a code. "Anaheim knows."

"Before me?"

"Had to piss at the wrong time."

"I can't believe it," she whispers. "Well, the Trevor thing I can. But with the Quinn thing... What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. He can't know about it though. If it ever slips out, I want him to be the last to know."