forget who i am today. + soukoku, fyoya

the dominance of a snake

Even when god turned his back on him, Chuuya has never backed down. He's never let fear get in the way of his missions because fear has costed him so many lives before, he couldn't let that happen again. He could not stand the thought of having to watch his comrades die again. Them crumbling to the ground like sand, watching them look at him as if he could save their lives. Or them dying in his arms, comforting him that he doesn't have to cry. That they never regretted taking him in.

He couldn't do it again.

Which is why whenever he sees one of his men fall, he can't look in their eyes and see the desperation. The want to live. The plead for him to save their lives. If he does, he thinks he would break.

Many people died because of him, but because he was a coward - many people died without him even looking in their eyes.

He's a coward.

He's nothing but a coward, because even as this man tortures him - Chuuya almost begs to be looked at in the eyes. Chuuya feels like he is dying and seeing only white makes his headache worse. He feels so lonely. He feels so loud. There's vibrations surrounding him, getting louder and louder. There's pressure all around his body.

He can't breathe. Why can't he breathe?

Chuuya gasped, spit and drool coating his chin from gritting his teeth and constant screaming, when he catches a flicker of black. He thinks there's tears dripping down his cheeks but he can't really tell, he's so cold and hot at the same time and his vision is blurry. There's a flicker of black again and he can't tell what it is.

He almost cries in frustration but the tight grip has him gasping for air instead.

Someone is speaking.

The man is speaking.

He can't really wrap his head around what is being said but the man looks up, and Chuuya can see moving lips.

"...Python...dominance...vibrations..."

That's all he could manage to decipher, but it was enough for his body to shudder in fear. Snake. There's a snake wrapping around him. The snake is the reason why he can't breathe. What about vibrations, though? Is the python the reason for the vibrations?

Now that he knows what he is, he can feel the slithering. The hissing. The vibrations. The fucking vibrations.

Everything is buzzing...

It'stoomuchit'stoomuchit'stoomuchTOOMUCHTOOMUCH...

A soundless scream left his mouth as he feels teeth inside of him. It's burning hot and it feels like his body is laying down on needles. His skin is buzzing, it's as if there's bees inside of him.

Someone grabs his chin but he can't see.

He can't see who it is.

Black is clouding his vision.

He doesn't comprehend it yet but those are eyes.

Eyes are clouding his vision.

But, he doesn't realize it because he very easily slips into unconsciousness. Escaping momentarily from the hell that his captor created for him. 

He doesn't hear the menacing laugh, nor does he hear the thud his body makes when he is released. 

He doesn't hear the man call for the slithering reptile that untangles itself from him. 

He doesn't feel the hands that hold a syringe to his neck, or the pulsating drug entering his veins.

He doesn't feel the ground when hands grab his ankles and drag him out.

He's far away. 

And he doesn't want to come back.

When he's conscious, he doesn't open his eyes immediately. The rustling around him is what makes him still and unwilling to peek. His body is being adjusted in a certain position, but he's so weak that it isn't hard to pretend to be asleep. He's completely laxed and unable to even tense or twitch, so much energy had been sucked out of him.

It almost feels like he's been drugged and maybe he has.

He hears voices above him but he can't really make out what they're saying, since he is dozing off and out of reality. Entering in his mind space instead.

Something rumbles around in his head, but it doesn't ache. If anything, it feels soothing somehow. He can feel the way the rumbling slithers to the front of his mind, and he think that the rumbling is trying to escape him.

The rumbling seems to grumble in disagreement with what he concluded. It seems to stop for a moment as if contemplating before the rumbling comes back with a voice.

Chuuuyaaa...

Delightful. Now he's hearing voices.

The moment he coherently tosses that thought into his mind, the voice growls in frustration. The rage the voice emits is enough to make his head ache. Okay, maybe it's real.

Real, real...

The voice parrots back like an echo, as if trying to convince Chuuya that yes, of course the voice is real. Not one of his hallucinations. Definitely not.

Fix you... need fix...

The voice rumbles again and Chuuya realizes that he knows this voice. This is the voice that always roar when he gives into Corruption, the voice that throws a tantrum in the aftermath. The voice that swirls around his head like a parasite when bored.

This...

This is Arahabaki.

Chuuya almost opens his eyes out of disbelief, but the quick shout that the voice makes at that convinces Chuuya that it isn't a good idea. Not if he wants to have a quiet mind eventually. So, he keeps his eyes closed.

You're weak...

He wish he could let out a spiteful laugh because of course - the god is going to insult him. But, it's the god of destruction! Of course it is going to insult him. It? They?

Merely god...

Pain in the ass, that's what you are.

He gets a thunk for that and he's almost amused. He's almost happy to have someone to talk to, even if it is the bane of existence.

Another thunk.

Keeping you alive... be... grateful...!

Arahabaki hissed into his mind and Chuuya nearly shudders because it sounds just alike the hiss that the snake had made. The god rumbles in satisfaction at making Chuuya quiet.

Sleep... awake when... man comes...

He didn't have much of a choice, did he?

He's already leaving his conscious entirely.

Arahabaki coils in his body like a snake and rests.