Mary and Martha Poppins

Opening

Bert: All right, ladies and gents, comical poems suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes. All right, here we go. Room here for everyone gather around. The constable's "responstable." Now, how does that sound? Hello, Miss Lark I got one for you. Miss Lark likes to walk in the park with Andrew. Hello, Andrew. Ah, Mrs. Cory a story for you. Your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew. Dear Miss Persimmon--

Miss Persimmon: Yes?

Bert: Wind's in the east, mist comin' in. Like something is brewin' about to begin Can't put me finger on what lies in store. But I feel what's to happen, all happened before. I'm sorry. Where was I? Thank you, one and all, for your kind support. Ah, Miss Lark, thank you. Crikey. Bless you, guv. Generosity itself, that's what you are. No charge. Oh, it's you, Pippa! Hello.

Pippa: I'm looking for 17 Cherry Tree Lane.

Bert: Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? All right. Come along with me. This here's Cherry Tree Lane. Nice little spot, you might say. Number 17's just down a bit. Now, this imposing edifice what first greets the eye, is the home of Admiral Boom, late of His Majesty's Navy. Likes his house shipshape, he does, shipshape and Bristol fashion at all times.

Admiral Boom: Time gun ready?

Mr Binnacle: Ready and charged, sir.

Admiral Boom: Three minutes and six seconds.

Mr Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.

Pippa: What he's famous for is punctuality. The whole world takes its time from Greenwich. But Greenwich, they say, takes its time from Admiral Boom. What cheer, admiral?

Admiral Boom: Good afternoon to you, young man and woman. Where are you two bound?

Bert: Number 17. Got someone here who wants to see it.

Admiral Boom: Enter that in the log.

Mr Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.

Admiral Boom: A word of advice, young man and woman: storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing there.

Pippa: Thank you, sir. Keep an eye skinned. Here we are. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Residence of George Banks, Esquire. Hello, hello, hello. The admiral's right. Heavy weather brewin' at number 17, and no mistake.

Mrs. Brill: Leave her alone!

Ellen: Shut up!

Mrs. Brill: I'll show you. Don't you be trying to stop the wretched creature! Let her go, that's what I say, and good riddance! I never liked her from the moment she set foot in the door.

Ellen: But who gets stuck with the children with no nanny in the house? Me, that's who!

Mrs. Brill: Her and her high and mighty ways! And that face of her that would stop a coal barge, it would.

Katie Nanna: Indeed, Mrs. Brill! I wouldn't stay in this house another minute, not if you heap me with all the jewels in Christendom.

Ellen: No, no, Katie Nanna, don't go!

Katie Nanna: Stand away from that door, my girl!

Ellen: But what am I gonna tell the master about the children?

Katie Nanna: It's no concern of mine. Those little beasts have run away from me for the last time.

Ellen: They must be somewhere. Did you look around the zoo in the park? You know how Jane, Maddie, and Michael is. Coo! You don't think the lion could've got at them, do ya? You know how fond they was of hangin' around the cage.

Katie Nanna: I said my say, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever.

Mrs. Brill: Well, hip, hip, hooray! And don't stumble on the way out, dearie.

Ellen: Now, now, Katie Nanna! Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks! They're home!

Mrs. Banks: Our daughter's daughters will adore us and we'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, Sister Suffragette" Good evening, Katie Nanna, Ellen. We had the most glorious meeting! Mrs. Whitbourne-Allen chained herself to the wheel of the prime minister's carriage. You should've been there.

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks, I would like a word with you two.

Pippa: And Mrs. Ainslie, she was carried off to prison, singing and scattering pamphlets all the way!

Katie Nanna: I'm glad you two are home, madams. I've always given the best that's in me.

Mrs. Banks: On, thank you, Katie Nanna. I always knew you were one of us. We're clearly soldiers in petticoats and dauntless crusaders for women's votes. Though we adore men individually. We agree that as a group they're rather stupid.

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks.

Pippa: Cast off the shackles of yesterday. Shoulder to shoulder into the fray. Our daughter's daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, Sister Suffragette"

Katie Nanna: Being that as it may, I do not wish to offend, but I--

Mrs. Banks: From Kensington to Billingsgate, one hears the restless cries from every corner of the land: womankind arise. Political equality and equal rights with men. Take heart for Mrs. Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again. No more the meek and mild subservients we, we're fighting for our rights, militantly - never you fear.

Katie Nanna: If I may have a word, Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks.

Pippa: So cast off the shackles of yesterday.

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks!

Mrs. Banks: And shoulder to shoulder into the fray. Our daughter's daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus - "well done"

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks.

Pippa: "Well done"

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss Banks.

Mrs. Banks: "Well done, Sister Suf--"

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks!

Pippa: What is it, Katie Nanna?

Katie Nanna: Mrs. Banks and Miss. Banks, I have something to say to you two.

Mrs. Banks: Where are the children?

Katie Nanna: The children, madams, to be precise, are not here. They've disappeared again.

Pippa: Katie Nanna, this is really too careless of you. Doesn't it make the third time this week?

Katie Nanna: The fourth, madams. And I for one have had my fill of it. I'm not one to speak ill of the children, but--

Mrs. Banks: Oh, please, when do you expect them home?

Katie Nanna: I really couldn't say. And now if you'd be good enough to compute my wages, I'll--