Mary and Martha Poppins

Chapter 12

Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?

Mr. Banks: Will you two be good enough to explain all this?

Martha Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.

Mr. Banks: Yes?

Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.

Mr. Banks: Yes. Banks here. Mr. Dawes! I'm most dreadfully sorry, sir, about what happened at the bank today. I can assure you that-- tonight, sir?

Mr. Dawes: Yes, Banks. We'll expect you at 9:00 precisely.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Without fail.

Mr. Dawes: Without fail. Why, yes, Banks. It's extremely serious.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): We regret this course of action.

Mr. Dawes: We regret this course of action.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): After all, you have been with us a good many years.

Mr. Dawes: After all, you have been with us a good many years.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): As was your father before you.

Mr. Dawes: As was your father before you.

Mr. Banks: Yes, Mr. Dawes. I shall be there at 9:00. A man has dreams of walking with giants. To carve his niche in the edifice of time. Before the mortar of his zeal, has a chance to congeal, the cup is dashed from his lips! The flame is snuffed a-borning. He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.

Bert: Life is a rum go, guv'nor, and that's the truth.

Mr. Banks: You know what I think? It's those women Mary Poppins and Martha Poppins. From the moment they stepped into this house, things began to happen to me!

Pippa: Mary Poppins and Martha Poppins?

Mr. Banks: Yes, yes, of course. My world was calm, well-ordered, exemplary. Then came these people with chaos in their wake and now my life's ambitions go with one fell blow. It's quite a bitter pill to take. It's those Poppins women! They did it!

Bert: I know the very people you mean. Mary Poppins and Martha Poppins. They're the ones what sings...A spoonful of sugar that is all it takes. It changes bread and water into tea and cakes.

Mr. Banks: You see? That's exactly what I mean! Changing bread and water into tea and cakes!

Pippa: Indeed!

Mr. Banks: No wonder everything's higgledy-piggledy here.

Bert: A spoonful of sugar goes a long, long way. Have yourself a healthy helpin' everyday. An healthy helpin' of trouble, if you ask me.

Mr. Banks: Do you know what they did? I realize it now. They tricked me into taking Jane, Maddie, and Michael to the bank. That's how all the trouble started.

Pippa: Tricked you into taking the children on an outing?

Mr. Banks: Yes.

Bert: Outrageous! A man with all the important things you have to do. Shameful! You're a man of high position. Esteemed by your peers. And when your little tykes are cryin' you haven't time to dry their tears and see them grateful little faces smilin' up at you because their dad he always knows just what to do.

Mr. Banks: Well I mean, look, I, I don't think I ca---

Pippa: Like you say, brother. You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone. Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve and all too soon they've up and grown and then they've flown and it's too late for you to give just that spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down, the medicine go down, medicine go down.

Bert: Well, good-bye, guv'nor. Sorry to have troubled you.

(Bert makes his way out but Pippa stops him)

Pippa: Hey. Thanks for a fun night.

Bert: No problem. We should do it again sometime

Pippa: I'd like that.

(Bert smiles and Pippa smiles back.)

Bert: Unless you want to go out for a while longer now?

Pippa: (Smiling) Are you asking me on a date?

Bert: Hopefully the first of many.

(Pippa giggles)

Pippa: I'd love to

(Bert smiles and takes Pippa out for a late-night stroll)

Jane: Father? We're sorry about the tuppence. We didn't know it would cause you so much trouble.

Michael: Here, father, you can have the tuppence.

Maddie: Will that make everything all right?

Mr. Banks: Thank you.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Come in! Take your hat off, Banks.

Mr. Banks: Good evening, gentlemen.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Well, get on with it. Go on.

Mr. Dawes: Uh, yes, Father. In 1773, an official of this bank, unwisely loaned a large sum of money, to finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?

Mr. Banks: Yes, sir. Yes, I think I do. Uh, uh, as the ship lay in Boston harbor, uh, a party of the colonists dressed as Red Indians, uh, boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and, and threw all the tea overboard. This made the tea unsuitable for drinking, even for Americans.

Mr. Dawes: Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank!

Mr. Dawes (Snr): From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank until today! A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son. Do you deny it?

Mr. Banks: I do not deny it, sir. And I shall be only too glad to assume responsibility for my son.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): What are you waiting for? Get on with it!

Mr. Dawes: Uh, y-yes, Father.

Director 1: No, not that!

Director 2: Steady on.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Well, do you have anything to say, Banks?

Mr. Banks: Well, sir, they do say that when there's nothing to say, all you can say I-

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Confound it, Banks! I said, do you have anything to say?

Mr. Banks: Just one word, sir.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): Yes?

Mr. Banks: Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious.

Mr. Dawes (Snr): What?

Mr. Banks: Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious. Mary Poppins and Martha Poppins were right. It's extraordinary. It does make you feel better!

Mr. Dawes (Snr): What are you talking about, man? There's no such word.

Mr. Banks: Oh, yes. It is a word. A perfectly good word, actually. Do you know what there's no such thing as? It turns out, with due respect, when all is said and done, that there's no such thing as you!