Maybe I'm too morbid. Maybe that's why they don't like me. Maybe that's why nobody stays. Because I'm cool at first and then my problems come out from hiding. Something happens and I show a little bit of weakness, hoping and praying, someone will stand up and help. But no. Everyone's too scared. They don't want to deal with someone like me. Its too hard on their pretty little life. They could be out partying with their friends. They don't have to be texting freak girl. I mean, I wouldn't text me either. I'm messed up. And I'm sure I annoy people to all ends. Nobody cares enough to bother with me. I mean of course I won't do anything stupid right? Its just a little phase I'll grow out of right? Wrong. That's just what they want and hope for so they don't have to go through all that trouble. They want to save themselves. Not me. They couldn't care less about me. But that's my life now. Maybe they get annoyed when I send something and say "never mind" right after because I'm too insecure, knowing they won't care about what I just said. I regret everything I say, right after I say it and it sucks. So much. I don't know what to do. I can't decide that. I don't want to end it all, I just want the pain to go away. I want to feel okay again. They only care when its too late right? They don't want to hear about your problems when you have them, but they will all be standing at your funeral saying how much they loved you and tried to help. And its so very easy to manipulate them. And lie. And change the subject. Because none of them really care. They let it happen.
