I think they all like to mess with me. I think they act friendly to mess with me and get in my head then make fun of me behind my back. I think people are not true. I think they use you and don't care if you get hurt in the process of them laughing. I think its all a big joke. "Friends" wouldn't do that to me. They like to gang up on me then laugh about it. They like to have inside jokes and talk about them without me. They like to talk about how much fun they had hanging out while I wasn't there, right in front of me. It hurts and they think its a game. It tears me up inside but I would never show them that. I won't give them that satisfaction. They don't know that when I'm walking around it'll only take one thing to completely break me. Maybe it'll be someone laughing at me. Or maybe it'll be a dirty look. Whatever shall it be, it doesn't have to be a lot. I'm going to lose it and break down in public one day. And I hope they are ready for that. Cause in the end, it will be their fault.
