Your world was black, and for what felt like forever you were weightless and non-existent, not even aware of your hands on his chest, the air in your lungs, or his heat still deep in your gut.
When you found the strength to open your lids, you were greeted by beautiful eyes looking up at you, sheen with a post-coitus inebriation.
You weren't sure how long it had been since the haze had started, but for the first time since it did, you felt completely yourself again.
"Aw, shit," you lamented, although you weren't sure for what. You dropped forward, hiding your face in your hands against his chest, perhaps embarrassed you had gotten so aggressive.
"I'm sorry," you muffled from behind your palms.
"Jesus, for what?" he scoffed in amusement.
"This thing just makes me crazy."
"I promise I'm not complaining," he said, as he began to stroke your back with his fingers.
You laughed lightly, but kept yourself hidden, until the moment began to feel unnervingly too intimate and your legs began to cramp.
"Okay," you said, pulling yourself up and climbing off of him, wincing as you emptied yourself of his intrusion before you crawled off the counter.
You went searching for your pants, or top, or anything, but you felt a little lost in what looked like a crime scene of discarded clothing strung across the floor and furniture.
"Take my shirt," he said, almost startling you. You looked at him, his pants were already in his hands as he prepared to put them on, then you followed where his head was nodding and found his shirt crumpled over a chair.
You shook it out, then pushed your arms into its sleeves and pulled It over your shoulders, strategically buttoning it up to be sure you avoided meeting his gaze and ogling his half-naked form.
He strolled over to you, his hand brushing along your arm, then he dipped his head down to catch your lips and kiss you lightly.
"You okay?" he asked, stroking the length of your arm again, the whole tender scene making your stomach flutter.
"Yeah," you nodded, now avoiding looking at him to hide your blush.
"Do you want a drink?"
"Sure." You definitely could use one. "I need to use the bathroom first."
He nodded towards a door behind you. "Over there."
⁂
You didn't do much when you were in the bathroom, but you were there for a longer than needed time. You stood in front of the sink, not even noticing your reflection in the mirror before you. Your mind was far away from the present moment and the bathroom. It was back at the diner, sitting next to Yoongi in the pub, kissing him in the alley, under his arm on the street, and, of course, minutes ago in the kitchen.
Part of you wanted to praise the haze for bringing Yoongi to you like this, but the other part continued to curse it. Because although it was the reason for this time with him - something you had wanted for as long as you could remember - you couldn't really quite remember it.
It was a haze.
You rubbed your lip gently with your finger, trying to remember your first kiss in this very apartment, before the heat had hit.
You had kissed him many times since... but during all those kisses, had you really embraced the taste of his tongue and the shape of his lips? He had been inside you, the space between your legs still ached from it, but it somehow felt like a dream. It was hot, sure... the passion for raw, primal pleasure. But the heat's needs had clouded over your want to revel in him. You wished you had been more... present.
