Shells | Lo'ak Sully

Part 15: Crazed

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(POV: Lo'ak)

They think I'm crazy.

They think I've made my story up, that I'm delusional, that I'm seeing things that aren't really there.

I am not crazy.

When I disconnected from the Spirit Tree, the first thing I told my mother who was waiting for me at the surface was 'she's alive.' I said it with no wavering emotion, no indication whatsoever that I was lying or making it up. And yet, she looked at me funny, clearly not believing what I was saying. I told her again and again that she was alive, I knew for certain she that was, yet my own mother was hesitant.

So, as one does, I got angry. I refused to ride back with her on her ikran, calling my own ilu over to me from where I stood. — When I reached the shores of Awa'atlu I proceeded to tell my father and the rest of my family the exact same thing.

"She's alive." I said.

Nobody said anything for a while, each of them looked towards each other as if to check for expressions to copy, unsure of what to think. My dad didn't, though. Instead what he did was check for indications that I was lying, which neither surprised me or caught me off guard. However, since I wasn't lying, I had nothing to fear.

"How are you certain?" He asked. Finally, someone was listening to me.

I rushed to tell what I'd discovered. "The Spirit Tree; I connected because I wanted to find her and talk to her but I found Neteyam instead." I started, seeing my dad listening on intently as well as sternly.
"He thought I'd come looking for Ni'teya's whereabouts in real life, not the afterlife, which... may not have been the first time I've done that—" Dad rolled his eyes at that.
"But anyway, the point is, she wasn't there. — She is not dead. I know it." I finished my piece, clenching my fist.

It took a while for him to respond to me, but that gave me time to take note of other's expressions. Kiri and Tuk looked towards Dad, a glimmer of hope and light in their eyes, which told me that they desperately wanted my story to be true. Mother seemed more apprehensive. She looked at Dad as well, as he met her glance, supposedly sharing words without ever speaking them. I could tell she was worried but not completely against my idea; I reckoned then that she knew what my revelation meant.

I know Dad did too.

It meant that I wouldn't wait around anymore; I wouldn't stay here in the village, wasting away time that had suddenly become that much more precious.

I was then met with a hand pressing down on my shoulder. I hadn't noticed my dad approaching me as I'd been too distracted by everyone else, suddenly allowing myself to be pulled forwards slightly.

"Here, Lo'ak. Go with your sisters back to the hut, we'll talk more about this later, okay?" He said, angling me towards them and continuing to push me until I pulled away by force.

"What?!" I protested. "That's it?! After what I've just told you, you're not going to — I don't know, go get her?!" I paced towards him as he walked away, clearly having expected my reaction. He then looked down at me, no hint of anything but parental concern in his countenance, telling me what I didn't want to hear.

"Lo'ak. Do as I tell you to, I promise we'll talk later. Me and your mother just need to get our heads straight."

And with that, he left me with my sisters. I sighed, kicking the sand with my dominant foot in a temper.

Then, a slight tug on my hand made me flinch. I looked down to find Tuk, who had clearly been scared as well as upset by the ordeal going on in front of her, despite Kiri's efforts to comfort her sister.

"Is it true?" She asked. I squatted down in front of her, taking both of her hands into mine, which had grown quite a lot since the last time I'd done so. "Is Teya okay?"

If Tuk had asked if Ni'teya was alive, I'd have been able to answer her calmly, truthfully and from my own heart. However, if Ni'teya was okay was a whole different matter. Just because she was alive, didn't mean she was okay. And that terrified me to my core.

"...She's strong, isn't she?" I tried reassuring her as well as myself in that answer, plucking reasons from my head as to why she had managed to stay alive until now.

Tuk nodded and smiled a little.

"Very, very strong!" Kiri chimed in, placing her hands on both of Tuk's shoulders and shaking them around gently as she squeezed. "Even stronger than him, right?" She laughed, making Tuk do the same.

I tried to react to the joke, however I knew more than ever how gratifying yet petrifying it was that she was stronger than me. Our minds, though we often think the same over trivial things, think differently when it comes to danger. While I'm the type to throw caution to the wind, she was much more calculated... Most of the time. —  When things get out of hand, she jumps. She doesn't think about it, she just... uses everything she has to stop the threat. Even if it costs her.

I tried to hide the fact that my head was filling with scenarios surrounding what was happening to her as I was safe on dry land as I took my two sisters back to the hut as Dad has asked me to, but I think Kiri could sense them. She was good at that, somehow; Knowing when people were thinking negatively.

Once we'd gathered back in the hut, we waited hours before our parents showed up again. When they did, they didn't look too happy. It seemed they'd been talking to Tonowari, as Ronal accompanied them to where we were, which made me prepare for what was about to be said. Neytiri and Ronal stood to one side, letting Jake step out and 'take the stage' as it were.

He cleared his throat, looking back at Neytiri quickly to receive a nod of approval. Then, all three of the adults looked at me.

"So... We've spoken to Tonowari and his army about what we now know thanks to you, Lo'ak." Was what he said first, which greatly confused the true intentions of his later statements.
"But—" He hesitated once again, this time spotting Ronal give him an incredibly judging and dangerous stare.
"But we cannot go out to get her yet."

I felt my legs lift themselves even though I hadn't registered it happening. My heart thumped hard as the bad news hit.

"What?! Dad, you're joking—"

"We do not have enough resources or men to attack. We do not—"

"No, Dad!"

"We do not have their location or the number of men they have aboard their ship. We cannot face the Sky-People again with what's available." He finished his announcement, turning to watch Ronal nod to him before walking out from the hut.

I couldn't speak, I had no words to anyway.

Jake turned back towards me with a different look; One of sorrow, though I didn't care much for it. He placed himself in front of me once again, lending his hand onto my shoulder once again.

"We will find her, son." He said quietly. I looked at the floor. "We're just going to have to wait some more."

...

... I've waited enough.

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