Finding Him

Chapter One

There was something about church that Alex hated. Has always hated, even when he was just the little scrawny kid that trotted angrily behind his holier than thou mother, as she made it to church, her outdated puffed hand blouse, overflowing pleated skirts and an always smelling black headgear. Not that he ever smelled the headgear, though it was what he expected as she wore every other Sunday except when she had a colour that matches better. Which was a rare event since his mother never ever do fashion. Fashion was for the sinners and......

"You look like you could use a drink"

Alex nodded, he really could use one. "How long is this service?"

"It's a wedding service, Lex, no specific time" Sarah, his unholy cousin answered. "Come on don't say you hate weddings too."

He shot her a look, and shook his head. "This particular wedding is boring"

Sarah clutched her heart in mock shock, " your sister's wedding is boring? You don't like the groom?"

The groom? He didn't have a problem with the groom, he didn't know him...in their little family he and Sarah were candidates of hell and they were allowed little involvement in family matters. Jesus could hardly talk to them, after all.
"I just hate Church and it's hypocrisy" he shrugged.
Sarah nodded like she understood. A little silence passed between them and she said "but what about the person behind all this, do you hate Him too?"

"Who?"

"Jesus. God". When he didn't answer she continued, "You know how we say hate the game but not the player? Or was it vice versa? I feel like it works like that. You know, hate the Church, it hypocrisy but not it's Maker"

"You go to church now?" He asked disbelief echoing in his voice.

She laughed, "someone gifted me a Bible at work and I've been reading it. There's a lot there they don't tell us. And....I've been thinking of going to church...."

He watched her closely, looking intently into her face for any sign of mischief. This was Sarah who smuggled in alcohol for him, who guided him through his rebellion, seeing that he committed every sin that was sure to drive him to hell, well except murder, they never did find the right candidate though his mother came close a million billion times. Very close. This was Sarah, who introduced herself as Sarah, the unholy at every religious gathering they were forced to as kids and pretended to get pregnant just to pretend to abort it.

"But?" He asked, not because he wanted her to go to church, he was just concerned, she seemed to be going through a much inner turmoil than whether to go to church or not.

"But what if it's all like aunty's church, what if they don't like....." She was cut off by the sound of applause as the groom gave the bride the quickest peck Alex has ever witnessed. He shook his head, he could bet his company that the guy wasn't as pure as the congregation was believing, at least his sister wasn't. As the congregation began to file out behind the bride and groom, Alex held his cousin from standing up, "Tell me Rah what's going on?"

"You haven't called me Rah in a long time."

"I know, I just want you to know I might be all bossy, egoistical and rude but it's me Sarah and despite the rush schedule and whatnot, it's always be me and you. I'm always here. So tell me what's going on"

She shrugged, "I don't know". She sighed, "I've done everything they say I'll never do, I'm better than every one in the family, even you." Alex smiled but didn't say anything, another the he'd have had an argument, she wasn't better than him. "They respect me now because of what I can do for them, but they still don't accept me. Maybe because I'm not married, and I'm not cause I don't want that one. I'm achieved but..." She sighed again "I'm kinda lost... something....something feels missing."

"Are you depressed Rah?"

"No. Not sure. No. No I'm not, I have it all Lex. I do. I'm not depressed just kinda lost, missing something, you know....something like that."

He didn't know. "You're craving their acceptance? Since when do you care?" Her answer was the lifting of her shoulder in a shrug and a sigh. "Let's go on a vacay, you're missing good quality time with family, let's be silly for a week."

She shook her head, "it won't go away. All the times I've used my getaway card it wasn't because I felt like traveling...." Now he understood, and to think he was glad she had used up her getaway card. He sighed "so church? You think you'll find the missing link there? Look around, Sarah, does it look like there's a missing link here? Well, except the one people lose. You don't find in church, Rah, you lose. And it's a big chunk."

"That's not what the Bible says." The Bible, he scoffed. "Do you know the Bible says parents not to provoke their children to anger?"

"Really?" He laughed. "Guess mom must have missed that part."

"Exactly! What more has been missed? I've been reading and it's a lot."

"So why go to church, keep reading. I could join you...as we did with all those your eroticals and we could discuss and see."
"But..."

"Look around, is anyone willing to tell you they missed anything in the Bible here? Church will confuse what you think you might have found"

"There's this girl, Lex, she's a Christian and she's almost everything we are but different. She says a lot, God talks to her and stuff....I...let's just say I'm craving experience."

"Bad idea, Rah, bad idea."

"Her church isn't like this."

"Then it's not church, a cult maybe. A hippie kind of thing."

"Same thing I'm thinking." She said with a smiling smirk Alex knew all to well. "And since you've always rebelled with me..."

"No." Anything kind of spirituality wasn't for him, not even magic.

"Lex, come on..."

"One Sunday."

"I was thinking of giving it a year."

" What? No. You might not be....I'm coming for moral support one Sunday alone."

"Come on....six months"

"One month"

"Twenty-four Sunday"

"Clever. That's still six months"

"Come on now. Let's give God a chance here."

"Have you forgotten how we used to cry and pray, if He didn't hear then, what makes you think He'll hear now?"

"Well, let's ask Him, He just might have a reason"

"You sound brain washed"

"I just need clarity on some theories. You did science, experiments need time. Twenty Sundays"

He shook his head, " ten"

"Make it an even dozen."

Like ten wasn't an even number, he thought but didn't object.