THE ROYALTY

4. A sponsorship?

VANI

On my way from the restaurant, I saw a little girl with her parents. Joined hands, Chatting, laughing, free from all worries in life. How peaceful must life be for them?

Sometimes I feel envious of such contented and blessed people. Maybe if I work hard enough, I will be able to afford a life like that. Father was most of the time drowned in work, to provide for his family. My mother was already constantly sick and suffering from long-term heart disease. It was only recently a few years that she had been recovering. There was hope for her full recovery and chances of her getting healthy back again. My father had always been working hard to manage Maa's medical fees as well as my education fees. Sometimes it almost felt like a burden on his shoulders. Just imagining being in my father's shoes distressed me. Perhaps I was too fearful of the responsibilities that I had to bear. I felt like a coward trying to hide in the shadows, away from the prying scrutiny but, I had to be strong like my parents taught me to be. According to my father, honesty, truthfulness, hard-work ,and loyalty are the most important values.

Shoving my thoughts aside, I focused on riding the bicycle. But my thoughts were adamant about lingering in my mind. Perhaps it was confirmed that I was incompetent and pathetic even to consider the thought of all accountability. My eyes brimmed with tears as I couldn't control the urge to keep them at bay. My emotional stability wasn't at its finest. I need to control the intensity of my emotions and become impenetrable not to be a burden on my family. Why was I so miserable?

 Wait a minute, Was I even miserable? Maybe I am just overreacting, My parents are already working hard to afford a better future for me. I can't let go of their efforts in vain. I need to study hard and secure a scholarship, and a well-paying job. I have to become an engineer, after all that's what my parents think is the best for me. I am not miserable, my life might me the dream of someone who can't even afford to eat three meals a day and an education. At least something in better than nothing. Only I am pathetic.

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Reaching my home, I parked my bicycle. The muffled noises of what seemed like a commotion were coming from my house.' Is there any argument going on between Maa and Papa? It was unusual for them to argue, that too loudly.' As I edged closer, I grew suspicious but I decided to shove my unnecessary thoughts aside. Upon reaching inside I announced my arrival, " Maa, Papa, I am home."

 Unlike the usual, today there was no response. I called out to them again a few- times, perhaps they must have gone somewhere. But the door wasn't locked, the illuminated house was visible and, they hadn't informed me too. Did something happened to mom? "She had been taking all her medicines accordingly and her health was also getting better. What in the hell happened now?"

 My mind went into frenzy as I calculated all the possible outcomes. My steps hastened and my breathing became irregular as I entered the living room. As I edged closer, I grew suspicious but I decided to shove my unnecessary thoughts aside. See, I was just exaggerating! I have became dumb. Forget govt. exams I won't be even able to pass life exams with such attitude. 

Reaching inside I saw my mother and father engrossed in some kind of discussion, Tanya didi was also present there. Wait, when did she come here? The last time i checked she was offered bed rest for about two weeks after that incident. Now, she looked healthy nowhere near that frightened woman i saw. of course she would have recovered you fool, it's almost been a month and she must be here for work purposes I reminded my myself. surely  i am becoming dumber day by day.

"Namaste didi, how are you?"I greeted her out of forced courtesy. It wasn't that I detested her, she always liked to flaunt her authority over me and unknowingly this behaviour of hers irked me as always.