Radiant Blaze - BlazaFor1

Prologue

Published: March 9th, 2024
Words: 346

Re-written
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November 5, 20XX
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{Blaza's Journal}

Hi. I don't get this whole "writing out my feelings" thing, but I guess it's not that bad. Although the fact that anyone could open this journal and see literally all my thoughts is kind of unsettling. Especially since this is the first page. I'll just cope with it. It's not that bad, like I already said.

So, writing out my feelings. I don't know, everything's just bland. Like every day is the same. I'm hardly clinging onto any sensation in my arms anymore, and it seems like I'm just on auto-pilot all the time. My friends don't even realize anything's off about me at all. I don't want them to notice, and I'm glad they haven't. If they ever found out about the anxiety and whatnot, I don't think they'd ever let it go. And not the fact they'd care, because they wouldn't, but they'd just make fun of me about it.

I heard there's a transfer kid coming to school. Not like they're going to talk to me. I just hope my friends leave them alone, last thing I want is for some poor kid to end up in the hospital first day they're here. Seriously, what is this? An American High school reality show? I don't understand the physical bullying.

Anyway, back on topic. I've been seeing a therapist (the reason I'm doing this stupid journal) and to be honest, nothing's better. I'm scared of them telling my parents what I say. I barely talk during the sessions. I think it's a trust issue, but I'm also not very knowledgeable on mental health. Whatever Google can show is what I know so far. But personally, I don't see any use in trying to get better if what I'm bound to do is inevitable; maybe I'll try harder when I'm in college.

That's it, I guess.

Bye,
Blaza. B
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Ayy rewritten for the second time now wonder how many more times there'll be after this