Familiar {foxpeebles}

Feelings

TW // slight internalized homophobia

{ Molly's POV }

Molly and Amy laughed as they shared stories, looking out from their chairs on the porch of Molly & Wade's house, looking to the night sky. It felt nice to talk to Amy, Molly often feeling too wrapped up in whatever the boys are doing whenever they hung out, having little time to actually get to know Amy. "Ok, Ok, Ok... what was... your first kiss like?" Amy asked, turning to Molly. "Mine and Wade's or first all-time?" Molly asked, raising an eyebrow. "Your first kiss" Amy repeated. Molly briefly looked back to the stars, trying to recount her first kiss, then let out a small nervous chuckle as she remembered it. "Oh, well..." She paused. "My first kiss was actually with a girl." Molly admitted, causing Amy to slightly widen her eyes with surprise. "Really? I wasn't expecting that!" Amy said, taking a sip of her drink. "Yeah..." Molly paused again, still thinking of the memory. "It was back in highschool. I don't know what it was about her, but it made me feel really confused, since before then i'd only ever been attracted to men." Molly explained. "We kissed in a bathroom and never talked again after that, she moved schools." She added, then took a sip of her drink. "You didn't get her number or anything?" Amy asked, earning a small chuckle from Molly. "No, I either didn't think about it or was too scared to get too close." Molly responded. "Why would you be scared?" Amy asked, causing Molly to look back at her. "Why?..." Molly repeated. "Well..." She paused. "I don't know. Maybe because that meant I wasn't as straight as I thought I was... and that scared me." Molly turned back to the sky, her voice getting a slightly more serious tone. "There's nothing wrong with that, though! You could just be Bi and also be married to a man" Amy said, shrugging her shoulders. Molly briefly looked down to the floor. "Yeah, but..." She paused, wondering if she should actually say what she was thinking. She looked back up to Amy, and felt as though she could trust her, her staring back at her with a comforting smile. "To be honest, I've never felt the same feeling as I did when I kissed her. This sounds horrible, but... I've been beginning to wonder if I'm attracted to men at all. She made me question all of it." Molly said, Amy's expression dropping a bit. "Are- are you attracted to Wade?" Amy asked, Molly going silent. She took another sip of her drink and looked back to the sky, trying to think of what to say. "No." Molly finally answered. "...Oh." Amy said. The two sat in silence for a few seconds.
"A- anyways... what was your first kiss like?" Molly asked, trying to change the subject, not wanting to finally confront her feelings.
"No- No, Molly... You need to talk about this. If you don't have feelings for Wade, why are you still married to him?" Amy asked, causing Molly's grip on her drink to tighten a bit. "I..." Molly spoke, not sure what to say. "Do you have feelings for Mark?" Molly asked, desperately trying to change the subject, but accidentally sounding defensive. "Of c-!" Amy started, but cut herself off mid-word. She went silent. "Oh shit..." Amy breathed out, covering her mouth with her hand. "You aren't attracted to Mark, are you?" Molly asked. "I... I thought I was. But I..." Amy paused and looked over to Molly. After a few seconds of silence, she removed her hand from her mouth. "Molly, what did that girl look like?" Amy asked, catching Molly slightly off-guard. "Well, uh... She- she had brown hair. And bangs, I think... And-" "Molly, I think..." Amy cut her off. "I think that girl was me." She finished. The two stared at each other with slight disbelief for a few seconds. "You... that- that was you." Molly repeated, now finding familiarity as she looked at Amy's face. Amy smiled and nodded. "So that means you also found out... because of me?" Molly asked, Amy then nodded. The two went silent again. "Amy..." Molly started. "Yeah?" Amy responded. "Do you... want to stay with Mark?" Molly asked, her heartbeat slightly picking up as she saw Amy's shocked expression. "I- I..." Amy stammered out, being unable to say anything before she was interrupted by Wade opening the door leading from inside to the porch. "Hey Molly, I'm gonna go to bed, when are you planning on going to sleep?" Wade asked, Molly turned around to look at him. "Oh, I'll- I'll go with you" Molly said, getting up and walking inside with him, but not before sharing another glance with Amy, still with a shocked and confused expression on her face.

{ Amy's POV }

All Amy could do was continue staring at the door after Molly left, almost not believing that the situation they were in was real. Slowly, she turned her gaze back to the night sky and took a drink, tightly holding the can in her hands.
She wanted to answer Molly, no, no she didn't want to stay with Mark. She wanted them to leave their boyfriend and husband, to run away, to start over and live a new life together, but Amy knew that wasn't realistic. She wasn't even fully sure what her emotions were yet, but her heart did beat a little bit faster as she heard Molly's question, it still ringing in her head. Do you want to stay with Mark? Amy repeated the question to herself in her head. She did appreciate Mark, but their relationship honestly did feel more like having a best friend than anything actually romantic. But with Molly, she felt something.
And that scared her.