Daryl laid there staring at the door, waiting for Nikki to come back. He knew something was wrong by the way she left. He decided then that he was going to have to talk with her about not running away. He wanted to be her safe place. Her port in the storm. He wanted her first reaction to always be to turn to him immediately and know that she could tell him anything.
Nikki returned fifteen minutes later. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy.
"C'mere, sweet girl. We need to have a talk."
Nikki brushed the stray tear that fell down her cheek .
"No I'm ok i am" she sighed trying not to burst into tears again
"You're not, though. And, to be perfectly honest, neither am I. Nik, honey, I need ya to stop running. I'm the one you talk to. Me," he pointed to himself.
Nikki looked down
"I don't wanna upset you" she mumbled
"Look here," Daryl lifted her chin with two fingers. "Shutting me out is what upsets me. I need to know that you trust me enough to tell me anything. Let me in, Nik. I'll never hurt ya, I swear. Just, please, talk to me."
"I can't believe you don't want kids , you adore RJ , Judith and Carl and they love you so much , you would be an amazing father and it's just not right that I can't give you that and it's all because beau took that from me , why should you suffer because I can't give you something that you really should be able to have"
"I would only suffer if I didn't have you. Yeah, I love the kids, but I think I'm better suited for being an uncle rather than a father. But, if ya want, we can look into adopting or fostering. I want you to be happy. That's what would make me happy. Do ya understand?"
"They won't let me adopt , not with my mental health history they do checks shit like that , look as we're opening up I guess I should tell you the truth about me"
"Tell me everything, Nik. I want to know if all. I want to know how to be the best man I can be for you. That's all I want."
Nikki gazed into his blue eyes .
"I moved to Atlanta when I was in my 20s told Rick and everyone it was to find myself truth was I had to get away from my father he tried to control , Rick told me the other day he caught my father in bed with me when I was 3 years old said he threatened him said if he ever found him in bed with me again he would kill him i acted like you know it never happened again truth was it went on for years he would wait till Rick went out with Shane and mom went to her bible group and would then you know , when I was in my 20s I left , but I used drugs yea I'm a mug too to numb the pain I use to hurt myself too you know to just forget , then I met beau I thought he loved me thought he wanted me well he didn't when I left the hospital after the op I came back though didn't tell Rick I was home stayed with Sasha and well when she went to work I well I um"
Nikki stopped and burst into tears again
"Hey, shhhh," Daryl soothed as he pulled her into his arms. "You're sober now and that's what matters. You're living life and moving forward every day. That's hard work. Ain't nobody knows what it felt like to go what you went through but you. I need ya to promise me that if ya ever start feeling like ya need to use again that you'll come to me. I won't judge you, sweet girl. I promise. I'll get you the help that you need and I'll be by your side every step of the way."
"Daryl I took an overdose Sasha found me I was a mess drink wasn't my poison , it was oxy I had to go to rehab was there for 3 months it's on my medical records no adoption agency will give me a baby no one , they won't give you one either you tried to kill yourself too, maybe we're only together because of our pasts" Nikki screamed
"Nik, hey, take a breath." Daryl held her face in his hands and guided her to take deep breaths with him until she calmed down.
"We're together because we're meant to be. Maybe we're together because we're finally meant to be happy and have the life we both deserve. That's all I could ever want. Don't you see? I only want you. You're what makes me happy. You're the one thing that has brought sunlight into my life. Whatever you want, I'll do everything I can to give it to you. You're my whole world, Nikki. I love you."
Nikki looked at him all she could see was love in his eyes .
"Y'a not mad , y'a don't hate me , I shouted at you was horrid, but your not angry"
"No, honey. I'm not mad. You're scared. You're guarded, and I get that. All I want is for you to let down your guard with me. I swear I'll always protect you and do everything I can to make you happy. You just have to come to me instead of running away."
Nikki fell in to his shoulder being so careful not to hurt him she then burst into emotional crying letting everything out that she had been holding in for the last few years , as she cried she felt Daryl wrap his arm around her
"I'm sorry" she sobbed "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
"There's nothing to be sorry for, pretty girl. Not one thing. Everything's gonna be ok. You're safe now. I'm never gonna hurt ya. I've gotcha, sweetheart."
"Thank you, um please don't tell Rick what I told you it would break his heart"
"I promise I'll never betray you, but if you're in trouble and need help, there ain't nothing I won't do to make that happen. You understand that, right?"
Nikki nodded as she burst into tears again in Daryl's arms
"Shhhh, sweetheart. I've gotcha."
Nikki carried on crying , how could this beautiful amazing man love a mess like her
"Close your eyes, sweetheart." Daryl nudged her to move closer. Lay your head on my chest and just listen to my heart. It's telling you how much I love you."
"You sure I might hurt you they told you off last night"
"I'm sure. I want ya close to me. Need to feel ya against me"
Nikki did as he asked she led her head on his chest just above the brace .
She could hear it beating away , showing her just how much he loved her .
She slowly sat up and kissed him gently on the lips
"Never had anyone love me before"
"Then, I guess I'll just have to love ya extra, won't I?"
Nikki felt him smile as he kissed to top of her head.
For the first time in a long time she felt safe , she felt loved .
The next moment one of the nurses walked in her face looked like thunder
"You have been told she is not allowed on the bed it's against policy now did you want your jello" she snapped at Daryl
"There's no need to be rude." Nikki's voice was calm, but there was an icy tone just beneath the surface.
"Sorry about that," Daryl quietly muttered. "She was only there for a minute so I could hug her. It's been a long couple of days and we just needed to be close for a second."
"Well I'm sorry rules are rules now would you like your strawberry jello or not we are very busy this evening"
"He would love some," Nikki snapped. "The sooner he eats and keeps it down, the sooner I can take him home."
"We have to see if he can use the bathroom and walk before we do that but there you go" she snapped passing the pot to Nikki
"What a complete bitch oh my god how dare she speak to you like that" Nikki could feel her anger brewing again
"I gotta get out of here, Nik. I don't wanna be here anymore. Please find the doctor and tell him. I'm not pukin' anymore, so he's gotta let me go home."Daryl sobbed he couldn't stay here a minute longer than he really had to, all he wanted was to go home snuggle his girl in his arms take care of her and be the boyfriend that she deserved.
