Let There Be Peace

Chapter 6

            Soul and Keeho were in the locker room doing stretches before their practice session. They both had one leg on a bench while they bent to put their chest against the raised leg. They switched legs and continued. Soul had felt a niggling doubt about Keeho's feelings toward Paz. She had assured him that she had handled it and that Keeho had no romantic feelings for her, but Soul sensed a certain tension in Keeho that seemed to belie the account that Paz had given him.

"I need to ask you something," Soul began as he switched from leg stretches to push-ups.

"Yeah," Keeho replied, slightly breathless from having done several jumping jacks.

"I know you and Paz had a conversation about your relationship," he began. "She said you are cool with us going out. I just wanted to check if that's really true," he said as he switched to sit-ups.

Keeho abruptly stopped his jumping jacks and stared at Soul. "I think Paz sees what she wants to see and hears what she wants to hear," he replied enigmatically.

Soul sat up straight. "Are you saying that you do have feelings for her?" Soul questioned, feeling a lump of stress in his throat. He had already caught feelings for her after hearing that Keeho was not a complication in their relationship. Now, he was worried that he had been misinformed.

"She talked. I listened. She was clear about how she sees me," Keeho attested.

"Yeah, but did she listen to how you feel?" Soul asked.

"I didn't talk about my feelings," Keeho replied. "It seemed like my feelings were pretty much out of the equation for her. She likes you, and that's that," he said, staring at his shoelaces.

"But you never told her how you feel?" Soul asked as he heard his voice go up in pitch.

"Why should I?" Keeho asked. "If I were to confess to her, I already know her answer. She beat me to the punch," he added with a frown.

"I feel really bad," Soul said, finally getting up off the floor. "I feel like this could be a problem between you and me."

Keeho nodded, acknowledging his friend's fear. "I mean, in my mind, I know that it's not your fault that I waited too long to tell her how I felt. But my heart is another matter entirely. When you talk about her, when you go to see her, when I know you are living the life I wanted, I do feel that envy monster in my belly. I can't pretend I don't," Keeho admitted.

"I feel like I should take a step back," Soul answered. "I feel like I've somehow trespassed your space by pursuing a relationship with her," he admitted.

Keeho let out a deep sigh. "You know what sucks the most?" he asked, fully expecting the silence that followed. "It sucks that I know that even if you were to make the way clear for me to date her, she still wouldn't pick me," he added.

"But how do you know if you don't tell her?" Soul asked, knowing that his question might open a Pandora's Box of problems for him personally.

"Like, how deep is your relationship with her?" Keeho asked. "Have you had sex with her?"

"No! No," he repeated a little less forcefully. "I mean, we've kissed," he admitted.

"Was it a peck or a make-out?" Keeho asked.

"I mean, I guess it was closer to a make-out than a peck," he acknowledged. "But why do you want to know that?" Soul asked as they walked to the practice room to begin the rehearsal.

"You know what? I don't want to know," Keeho said. "You're right. Don't tell me any more about it," he said as they entered the room with the other band members.

Their choreographer began shouting out instructions. "Okay, guys, I need Keeho and Soul in front. Theo, you are going to be diagonal behind Soul. Intak, you're starting diagonally from Keeho," he said. "Jongseob, you are behind Theo. Jiung, you are behind Intak," he instructed. "Now, the idea is that Soul and Keeho are going to face off with each other and then go down the center to the end of the diagonal lines. Then Theo and Intak face off and so on and so forth," the choreographer explained. "After each pair faces off, they will go down the center and to the back of the line. Let's try our first face-off," he said, pulling Soul and Keeho toward the front and positioned them facing each other.

"Okay, now, the song is pretty confrontational, right? It's all about being the top dog, the alpha male. So, I need you guys to really play up the competitive nature of the lyrics. I need you to really look pissed at each other. So, you two," he said to Soul and Keeho, "come toward each other and lift your chins. You're each telling the other, 'You can't get the best of me'," he explained.

Soul and Keeho followed the choreographer's instructions. As they approached each other, they both cocked their chins and began to shove each other aggressively as men tend to do before throwing punches.

"Great, now Keeho, I need you to chest bump Soul like you're challenging him," the choreographer continued. "Really let him know that you didn't come to play, alright?" he added. Keeho bumped into Soul's chest a bit too forcefully, causing Soul to lose his balance and fall on his behind.

"Okay, you convinced me," the choreographer said, holding down his hand to help Soul up. "I mean, that's the idea, but don't knock him down," he scolded Keeho. "You don't have to be that believable."

"Sorry," Keeho mumbled. "Listen, I need a quick break," he said as he picked up his water bottle and fled the room quickly.

"What's up with him?" Intak asked as he and the other band members gave each other quizzical looks.

"I'll go talk to him," Soul said, without divulging to the others what the issue at hand really was.

When Soul went into the hallway, he found Keeho close to the bathroom. When he approached, he put a companionable hand on Keeho's shoulder. His friend backed away, leaving Soul's arm to drop down again.

"Dude, are you seriously mad at me?" he asked, reaching out again to touch his friend.

"No," Keeho said, backing away yet again. "Don't touch me. Not yet. I'm not ready to reconcile with you just yet. I know I'm wrong to blame you for all this, but I'm just not ready to see you right now. I know I'm butt-hurt. I know it's unfair," he conceded. "But this is how I feel. I wanted Paz for myself and you swooped in and took her," he accused. "And I know she doesn't belong to me," Keeho added. "But it doesn't stop me from wanting to smack you in the face right now."

Soul looked forlorn. "I didn't mean to hurt you, man," he ventured.

Keeho let out his breath in one big exhale. "I know that, but I need some space. I need some time away from you to settle myself," he admitted.

"Well, how can you get time away from me if we live in the same dorm and work together all day long?" Soul asked wisely.

"Damn it! I don't know," Keeho replied. "I just need space. I'm gonna have to figure something out," he said. "Maybe I need to take a few days off."

"Days off?" Soul asked incredulously. "We don't get days off in the middle of rehearsals," he told Keeho.

"You don't have to tell me that," Keeho replied in frustration. "I know how it works."