Dear John,
I don’t know why I’m writing this letter. I think it’s stupid, but my doctor says he thinks it’ll help. Do you know what his name is? Doctor Robert! I couldn’t believe it when I heard it myself. Kind of funny, considering you sang it…
Since the last time I saw you, Linda and I haven’t been doing too bad. We’re adding more kids to the “McCartney farm,” as you liked to call it. We’re done with Wings though, which I’m a little sad about. But I’m writing new music, which is always good. It doesn’t seem the same writing it without you, though.
I haven’t had a conversation with since the mid-seventies, so it seems so odd, talking to you years later… I miss it, though. Just me and you, talking and laughing our troubles away. We were so young, and we didn’t have a care in the world. I miss it. I miss everything about those days. Most of all, I miss you.
I just… I just can’t believe you left. You’re really gone. I figured it would have to happen at some point, but I just didn’t think it could happen so soon. You leaving has made me realize that the same exact thing could happen to absolutely anyone at any time. You’re never really safe, I guess. I know it’s quite offensive to say this, but I wish it had happened to anyone but you.
But why did you have to leave me, John? Why now? I miss you, you fucking bastard! I know a grown man crying his eyes out is something that shouldn’t be done, but I can’t help it. I fucking loved you! Why would you go and leave this world like that, with such a short notice? No one got to say goodbye to you, John… not even me. Your first love.
I loved you, John. I always will. And I know you can probably see me writing this letter and are able to hear my thoughts, but just in case you can’t, I want you to know… I never stopped loving you. And all those rude things I said to you when the band broke up was only because I was young and stupid. I’d do anything to take them back, I really would. But I can’t, and that’s what hurts the most.
You once said all you need is love… well I need more than that. I need your love, Johnny. I’m not whole without you. I can’t do things I used to be able to do anymore. I can’t even go outside without seeing something that reminds me of you and sinking to the floor, crying my eyes out. Our love was the purest kind of love, and now it’s gone. You always wondered why I wrote silly love songs. Well, they were because of you. You’re my inspiration, my everything.
So I guess this is it… a proper goodbye. Goodbye, John Lennon. I’ll love you forever, and I hope that someday, I can join you and we’ll be happy once again. We can forget every argument we ever had and just throw them behind us. We can finally love each other without any fears.. I love you, you stupid git. Have fun up there with Buddy and Elvis.
All you need is love,
Paul.
