Mike: A penny? How dare you! I happened to have studied at the Lincoln School of Music!
Baboon: Sorry, that's all I've got.
Mike: Oh, is that so? [leaps on the baboon] All right, prove it, pal!
Baboon: What?
Mike: Empty you pockets, right now! [The baboon empties his pockets.]
Baboon: (sighs) Trying to find...
Mike: What is this you got here?
Baboon: I'm just trying to find...
Mike: (looks at an inhaler) What do ya smoke outta this?
Baboon: That's my inhaler. [a wad of money falls out of his pocket]
Mike: Aha! I knew it! [grabs the wad] You all saw it! You all saw it right here! The monkey lied!
[The animals witnessing the scene gasp collectively]
Baboon: I forgot I had that.
Mike: And next time, pick on someone your own size, ya bully. [flicks the clip at the baboon]
[Scene changes to Buster and Pippa riding to Les Calmars]
Buster: (sighs) Take care of her, would you? She may look old and rusty, but she is a classic!
[Inside, Buster and Pippa are seen sitting with their friend, Eddie Noodleman, a sheep]
Pippa: Okay, listen. we both know that my and my dad's theater has been going through some pretty tough times lately. But as the saying goes, "For every cloud, a silver lining." We've got...
Eddie: Ah, buh, buh, buh. Hold on right there, Buster and Pippa. My dad, he heard I was gonna see you two today and he was all like, "Eddie, you tell that koala and fox I'm not funding any more of those shows and that's final." Those were his words.
Buster: Your dad's right. Those shows were the problem. "War of Attrition". "Rosie Takes a Bow"! I mean, nobody wants to see that stuff anymore. So what do I or Pippa do?
Eddie: Quit?
Pippa: No. I give them a show they cannot resist, which is gonna be--
Waiter: (clears throat)
Buster: Just one more minute, s'il vous plaít.
Waiter: (grumbles)
Pippa: Merci!
Eddie: Don't speak French, they speak English here.
Buster: Now, my and Pippa's next show is gonna be, drumroll please: A singing competition!
Eddie: A singing competition? Who wants to see another one of those?
Pippa: Everyone! Just think, your neighbor, the, the grocery store manager, that chicken right there. Everyone in this city gets a shot at being a star, live on my and my dad's stage!
Eddie: Buster and Pippa, this is a terrible idea.
Buster: Oh no, it's not. Real talent from real life. That's what audiences want, and I and Pippa are gonna give it to them! [accidentally bangs a spoon which sends it flying across the room, hitting an bull, making him drop his cell phone in his soup]
Eddie: Can we please just get out of here?
Pippa: Don't you want eat?
Eddie: Yeah, but we can't afford any of this.
Buster: Yes, I know, and that's why [pulls out a lunch box and throws a sandwich to Eddie] I brought sandwiches.
Eddie: Uh, That's not allowed, and... (groan)
Pippa: What, you don't like peanut butter and jelly?
Waiter: Excuse me, sir and ma'am.
Buster: Okay, look, I got cream cheese, I got banana-- (The waiter grabs Buster and Pippa and throws them outside, Eddie goes outside holding his jacket)
Eddie: You two ok?
Pippa: Yep, never better.
(In Buster's office, Miss Crawly is seen at her desk until Buster and Pippa call her through the intercom)
Buster: Miss Crawly?
Miss Crawly: Hello? (exclaims) Uh, who is it?
Pippa: It's me. (clears throat) Your second boss. Miss. Moon.
Miss Crawly: Oh, hello, Miss. Moon.
Buster: There we go. Now, I need you to add the following information to our publicity flyers.
Miss Crawly: Yes, sir and ma'am.
Pippa: The winner of the singing contest will receive a grand prize of... $935. Hmm. Gonna need more then that. Just a second. Uh, there. (grunts) $1,000. You got it?
Miss Crawly: $1,000. Oh! (The fan blows on her face too much her glass eye pops out and it hits the zero key twice changing it from $1,000 to $100,000)
Buster: Print them up on every single sheet of paper we have left, and let's spread the word right away, okay?
Miss Crawly: (stammers) Oh, yes, sir and ma'am. (pushes the printer button and looks for her glass eye that's fallen under a stool, not realizing her mistake) Okay, come on out there.
Pippa: (inhales deeply) Ah, the winds of change. Yep, when this show's a hit, I'm and dad's gonna get you a fresh coat of paint. [opens the door at Miss Crawly's office] How are we doing with those fliers, Miss Crawly?
Miss Crawly: (holding the flyers) Oh, yes, sir and ma'am. We're all good to go here.
(The fan blows the flyers away out the window)
Miss Crawly: Whoa...
Buster: Miss Crawly, no! No, no, no!
Miss Crawly: Oopsie-daisy.
Pippa: (sighs) Well, I guess that's one way to spread the word.
Animals: (gasping)
Ash: Hey, Lance, look at this!
Lance: Ash, babe. Hey!
(siren wailing)
(indistinct chatter)
Meena and Maddie: (humming)
Meena's and Maddie's Mom: Meena and Maddie!
Mike: Hey, hey, hey! What do ya think you're--
Rosita: Uh-huh. Yeah.
(alarm ringing)
Buster: (yawns)
(thuds)
Pippa: (groans) Ow. Mmm. (brushes her teeth) Ah. (puts on her clothes and exits her desk) Let's go to work. And cue the crazy lizard. (Miss Crawly enters)
Miss Crawly: Good morning, Mr. Moon and Miss. Moon.
Buster: Indeed it is, Miss Crawly! Top of the morning to you.
Miss Crawly: I made you some coffee.
Pippa: You did? Where is it?
Miss Crawly: Oh, I got a little thirsty on the way up those stairs. Should I open the doors now?
Buster: The doors?
Miss Crawly: You two have got a line of animals waiting to audition, Mr. Moon and Miss. Moon.
Pippa: We do? (looks out the window and drops her mug in surprise) Holy moly, we really do.
(A huge, long line of happy animals is outside the theater waiting to audition. Buster and Pippa call Eddie)
Buster: I swear to you, Eddie! It's no joke! Look, just get down there and see for yourself! I gotta go. (laughs) This is it, Miss Crawly! Get your scaly tail downstairs and throw those doors open wide!
YOU ARE READING
Sing 1
FanfictionIn a world of anthropomorphic animals, koala Buster Moon and his adoptive fox daughter, Pippa Moon, own a theater, having been interested in show business since Buster's father took him to his first music show as a child. Following financial problem...
