Seasalt (AkuSai)

Fire

The matter of Isa's relationship with Lea was a delicate one.

While it was never spoken about directly between the two of them, it could only hold back so much. Unspoken words were akin to a dam, halting the flow of a river. But this particular dam could only hold water for so long, especially when the cracks in its foundation were growing stronger. An alarming amount of water was beginning to seep through those cracks. It was quick, how they grew larger, but the beginnings of them had been in place for years. The dam had never truly started out as pristine.

Isa could not find the want in himself to fix said cracks.

There was once a time when, as younger individual, Isa had thought of trying his hand at repairing the structural problems he had noticed. It was fruitless. He had not been accustomed with the technique or finesse it took to repair anything of this size- this grandeur. For what could have been said, that wouldn't have torn down the dam in its entirety? Isa was not like Lea. He did not have the charm or charisma, or even the understanding (or, what he assumed to be understanding?) Lea had when it came to these kinds of things. The redhead was quite different than he was in many ways. Perhaps that was what drew him in so effectively? He was Isa's opposite. Lea knew so many things that he did not. He was more social than he was. He had not dated, but he had other friends. On days that they chose to spend time in their secret hideout, Lea would speak to Isa on occasion of the drama between a couple, or even multiple. He was a good at relaying the information he had been told and even at recalling the things he had picked up on, though Isa had not understood for a long while why anyone would want to put themselves through such an annoyance. Why allow yourself to be vulnerable, when it was more than likely that another person would not care for you in the same way that you would care for yourself? That was precisely the point of the matter that Isa had been missing. It was to trust another to treat you better than what you would allow for yourself, he would find out.

Isa began to understand, once another year or so had passed. He had time to sit on the subject; to truly ponder what it was that made something beyond a friendship so alluring. Even friendships had been difficult for Isa, so how was he to understand that kind of want, if his success rate for the bare minimum was so low? People watching became an entertaining past time, when he wasn't busy. He would begin to put together the pieces together one day, when he happened to witness a couple walking and talking in the square of Radiant Garden.

And oh how easy it was to see yourself in someone else's place- in a situation that you hadn't thought of in depth before one particular moment- the catalyst. He had heard tell that it was not hard for one to remember when the first inklings of romance for an individual sparked. It was an overdone scene in many pieces of media.. one that he had always been so apt to grace with an eye roll and nothing more. Those kind of things were the work of storybooks, after all. Stories were just that- stories. Fake- make believe. What was written on a page did not dictate how all things worked in the real world, did it?

His assumptions were just that. Assumptions.

Isa would learn what it was like to have his own experience when it came to those infamous sparks. The world had not slowed in it's turning like he had been told it would, though the 'spark' part of the description had not disappointed. A night of stargazing was not unusual for the two. When Isa had decided that, as a New Year's resolution one year, he would memorize the constellations in the sky, Lea had claimed it was 'the most boring resolution ever,' but here he was, meeting Isa in the empty square of Radiant Garden. They had both snuck out. It was late.

Isa was already seated at the edge of the fountain, a book in his lap as his gaze scanned the stars overhead. The sound of the water flowing in the fountain behind him was relaxing. He had always loved this spot, as did Lea. The redhead approached, uncaring to hide the sound of his footsteps. Isa knew that Lea did so in order to make sure he didn't accidentally frighten him when approaching. He appreciated it.

"Stars sure are looking good tonight," Lea commented. He was not afraid to be the first to put his voice out there. Yet another thing that Isa appreciated.

His words gave something else for Isa to focus on. Teal eyes made contact with bright green ones. His own voice sounded foreign, mind still slightly distant with the thought of the stars. "Not a cloud up there," Isa agreed. "You can see all of them without any issues. I did find a few discrepancies in my book, though. A couple of things are out of place. I should have bought the revised edition."

Lea chuckled. Why was it that Isa had grown to enjoy the sound so much as of lately? "Really? Tell me about 'em."

Finally, Lea had gone to join Isa at the edge of the fountain. Their hands brushed. It wasn't as if something like this had not happened before, what with how physical Lea could be sometimes. A nudge or even an arm around his shoulder was something that he could expect, when Lea was in the middle of throwing out a teasing comment or making friendly conversation. So why was it now, with this one little accident, that nervousness sparked up in his chest? It was a quick start to a small brush fire, he learned, because Lea had not taken the care to move his hand. His fingertips rested over his own as Lea gazed up into the night sky, eyes tracing the imaginary lines between the stars. Isa joined him, after a second of recovering from his shock. He wondered which particular stars had caught Lea's eye. Distantly, quietly, he wondered if he would be lucky enough do such a thing, too.

That same well known warmth filled his chest as he scanned the words of a letter written to him, but never delivered. It's words were awkward, yes, but it meant something to him- something more than any other piece of written work he had ever read.

It was a confession.

Lea's handwriting was sharp, and he could recognize it from a mile away. It contrasted the letter's contents., what with sharp lines conveying a very heartfelt mix of words- a recalling of the past. A short worded worry of what Isa might think of him, if his feelings weren't returned. It seemed to have been thought out before writing, though his best friend had never been a poet. There were a couple of places that had been marked out with a blotch of ink, whenever Lea decided he didn't want to use a particular word. Isa loved every fault this letter tried to hide.

He held the crumbled paper in his hands gently, like something to be treasured. It became obvious to him that, whenever Lea had written this, he had meant to give it to him in person. It was never meant to be delivered through a second party, or even discovered like this. There was a small pang of guilt in the back of his mind, for reading something so personal before it was time to be delivered to him. Why had Lea left this here? Had it been shoved away for later, or to be forgotten? No, that last option couldn't have been the case. After all, it could have been thrown away.

Isa had expected an ache in his chest. He was so familiar with strong emotions being overwhelming at this point, what with how new his heart was, but nothing came to replace the brushfire in beneath his ribs. Lea was oh so experienced with starting fires, and though this one was an unknowing tally to add to his record, it was one to be added nonetheless.

And so, the dam that Isa had watched slowly crumble for years on end, had finally lost its integrity. As the water began to flow, he had once and for all decided that he needed to speak to Lea about this, one on one. He was no longer scared of the potential outcome the conversation might have, considering the love letter in his hands. It was enough to give him the confidence to do what needed to be done, and end the years of pining and yearning for someone that was so close, and yet what felt to be so far. The smoke and mirror tricks his overthinking had played were finally debunked and could be put to rest. The would not work on him any longer. The evidence for Lea's feelings was a tangible thing, and it was right beneath his fingertips.

Isa was careful when he finally decided to fold the thing back to its original size, and he slipped it into his pocket, unknowing that it was not an unfamiliar place for the object to hide. And, while it knew the darkness of being in hiding well, it would only need to stay hidden for a little while longer. He wondered when the last time the ink had seen the light of day.

He stood and prepared himself. Yes, it was still cleaning day, and yes, it wasn't as if they were alone in the apartment by any means, but the warmth in his chest demanded an intervention, and by Kingdom Hearts, he was going to have it.

Isa's footsteps were quiet when he stepped out of the room, but he carried himself with a sense of freedom he had never been lucky enough to taste before.