I'm Your Wreck

26- Banksexual

I spent the next day in the library, trying to keep some distance between me and Banks so that I could study without feeling distracted by his presence, which had become very distracting. We texted throughout the day, never bringing up the conversation from that night when we were drunk in his bed.

We didn't even talk about it that morning after we woke up together. The only way I could prove to Banks that I wasn't going to leave was to simply... not leave. Would that ever be enough?

Clearly, he'd been hurt before when "straight" guys had used him as an experiment... but that wasn't what I was doing, was I? This didn't feel like experimenting, or touching him just because I was curious to know what it might feel like to touch. I mean, I was curious, but it was more than that. It was something I didn't know I needed until I had it and now that I did... I wasn't going to let it go.

I wasn't so upset because of the physical parts, although I was curious about that part too. I just hated that he thought I might disappear and there was nothing I could do to prove him wrong. Still, I would try.

When I got home from the library that night, I took a shower and noticed that the steam from the last person's shower was still heating the air in the room. The tub still wet and the smell of Banks's coconut body wash permeated the small room.

As I showered, I couldn't help but imagine him in the room just before me. Naked and wet and...

Focus, please.

I finished my shower and got dressed in a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt before I made my way to Banks's room. The smell of his body wash was still in my nostrils and our conversation from that night weighing heavy on my shoulders.

"Hey, MacGyver," he greeted me with ease, stepping aside to let me walk through the door into his space. He had his music playing at a low volume, his finance text books displayed all over his desk. His hair was drying, but I could tell that it was damp from his shower.

"Am I interrupting?" I asked, glancing back at the text books.

He shrugged. "I've been at it all day, I could use the break. How'd your studying at the library go?"

Excruciating, I thought. Because I hadn't gotten a full exhale of breath out of my lungs all day until I walked into this room and saw that easy smile on his face. "It was fine. I've been doing a lot of thinking."

I watched his shoulders square up a little bit, his eyes go hard as if building a wall around his most vulnerable parts, preparing for the worst.

Before he could go too far down that road, I grabbed at the front of his t-shirt and pulled him close enough for me to kiss his forehead. Purposefully avoiding his mouth so that I could get out what I wanted to say before getting distracted by the hot curve of his bottom lip.

"I know that it makes you nervous that I'm not attracted to other guys," I said, stepping away from him before I lost my train of thought. Instead, I invited myself to sit on the edge of his bed. "But honestly, Banks? I'm not attracted to any women right now either. I'm only attracted to you. I'm... Banksexual."

He bit at his lip as he laughed, his cheeks turning faintly red.

"I am attracted to you. To every part of you," I promised him and his smile widened, which softened me enough to blurt out something that was completely unplanned and completely embarrassing to say out loud. "You are such a spectacular human being inside and out that it defies any and all labels of sexuality."

He stepped in front of me until he was standing between my knees, resting his hands on my shoulders. "That's a pretty mighty statement just to try and get me naked, MacGyver."