AFTER THE music store trip matt dropped me off at home so i could put my new strings on my guitar, chris wanted me to come with them but it was already late and i felt like sleeping in my own bed.
as i walked inside my house i saw a yellow sticky note on the fridge saying,
"i'll be home later, working late :( - Mama"
my moms been working a lot later lately and it's been very quiet when i get home now.
but muno always keeps me company.
i feel a slight smile appearing on my face thinking of the cat.
i walk upstairs to my room and get my guitar from the corner of my room. my guitar was an acoustic guitar, i have an electric one as well but i've been using my acoustic a lot lately because muno knocked over my mini amp and i have yet to buy a new one.
i start to fix the strings while i put on the neighborhood just for some noise.
I FIXED MY strings a while ago and now i'm fixing some lyrics to some songs i've written but never actually sang to anyone, except muno and my mom. it's currently 10:48pm and i'm tuning my guitar as my phone buzzes.
i pick it up and see it's chris.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
OWEN💐 Hey synnie Whachu doinnn'
SYD❤️🩹 fixing up some lyrics what abt u christopher owen
OWEN💐 Can I hear said lyrics😏
SYD❤️🩹 no chris🙄🙄
OWEN💐 BRUH Please How come Muno gets to hear it😒
SYD❤️🩹 cause he's my true bestfriend..😬 sorry u had to found out this way..
OWEN💐 Wow I see how it is So fake Sydney Hart So fake🙁🙁
OWEN💐 No but like fr when you want to sing to somebody will I be the first you sing it to?
SYD❤️🩹 of course you're my bestfriend #1 person ever
OWEN💐 🥹🥹 Thank you Syd I'm gonna go to bed and u should too Goodnight Synnie🗣️
SYD❤️🩹 goodnight owen🫡
I SMILE WHILE looking down at my phone and shutting it off and placing it aside. i open up my notebook with all my songs and i flip open to "if you want to" i decided to record myself singing so i could show chris. i set up my phone against a candle on my bed side table and start a small strum on my guitar and sing.
If you wanna take me
Go ahead and try my head
Experience is nothing compared to
The sleep paralysis in my bed
If you wanna love me
Try to get inside my brain
Experience is nothing compared to
The nights i'm always up so late
Bed bugs in my mind
Keep them all alive
Insomnia creeps at night
Sleep paralysis till I die, die
'Cause if you want you could stay with me in my bed
If you want to only, if you want to
If you want, you could go ahead and my fix my head
If you want to, only if you want to.
I FINISHED the song and stopped the video, i watched it over just to make sure i actually sounded good. i noticed i had a small lingering smile on my face while singing. i always slightly smiled while singing this song, it reminds me of when i used to call chris when i couldn't sleep and he would ask if i wanted him to come sleep with me. i would reply "if you want to" because i never wanted to pressure the boy. i was 16 when i found out i had insomnia, chris would always help.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
1:47
SYD❤️🩹 ik ur asleep but i'm ready to sing u a song i wrote 4 u :)
D SPEAKS🗣️⁉️ THEY ARE SO CUTE ILL CRY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this chapter is kinda short but it's just a filler sooo also if u haven't listened to if you want to by beabadoobee GO LISTEN TO IT NOW.
