Silver Infinity ((Kamukura X Komaeda))

Chapter Forty-Seven: Negativity

 That couldn't be right, had Kiibo really destroyed it all? But they had come so far!
How could it all be destroyed!?
Nagito reached out, grabbing the scientist's arm as tight as he could, not caring how uncomfortable he looked, or Mikan's cry.
"There has to be some left!" He snapped, "How can you just let innocent people be turned into beasts and destroy their way back!?"
"Komaeda-" Kamukura started but the fluffy pirate didn't want to listen to it.

"This isn't fair! Celeste canceled her order, right? Did it ever come back? What about the bottle Hajime had? Did you find a way to destroy that too? Please!" He didn't realize he had started crying until the salt touched his lips.
The dark man's arms wrapped around him, pulling Komaeda off Kiibo and holding him close to himself. It just wasn't... Fair.

Was their whole plan useless? The entire journey, the hope of Sonia to spare them? He couldn't find the energy to pull out of Izuru's hold, in fact, it might have been the only thing helping him stand just then.
If Komaeda had just stayed out of it, just slain Kamukura the day they met, the Pirate King would still have walked away and been alive, Komaeda's life would be safe, his crew would be okay.
Why did he ever... Ever have to fall in love?

It was supposed to protect everyone, but everyone was in even more danger than before. Nagito really was just greedy pigshit, the most worthless of scum, not even worthy enough to be in Izuru's arms just then.
The Silver Wine was gone and... They were all going to die.
Kiibo fixed his shirt and with a heavy sigh, sat down in his chair again.
"She did try to cancel it, but it was already being shipped by that point. I could only assume she disposed of it in the only way she felt she could."

"Throwing it into the ocean," Izuru nodded in understanding, not releasing his hold on Komaeda. "From there, Hajime managed to locate it and hand it over to Fuyuhiko, who had sold it to the King of Spain, and who gave it to Tsumugi." He sighed out. "We have tracked it that far. But Tsumugi told us it had been returned to you. So... Where is it?"
For a long moment, Kiibo hesitated before he suddenly smiled.

"I am surprised Hajime did not use it on himself first. It was noble to attempt to return it for the others afflicted. I wonder if he knew he was already transforming by that point?"
"You're changing the topic," Izuru's voice turned cold with a swift flick of the switch. "Did you destroy the bottle?"
"Doctor?" Mikan's voice chimed up, hinting with a sense of worry.

Still, he kept quiet before suddenly perking up and looked back to his table.
"Oh, my brew! I had nearly forgotten. It's going to over-boil." Rushing to his table, the Doctor's eyes focused on his chemistry set, intentionally keeping himself from looking at the men.
It was so infuriating how they weren't getting any straight answers, and so... Useless.

"It doesn't matter," Komaeda muttered aloud. "This was all my fault. All because of me, and my horrid luck, my disgusting, greedy choices. Why did I ever try to save everyone? In the end, I just put everyone in more danger."
He felt the Pirate King relax his hold to look down on him, but the man didn't utter a word.

"How could a human be any lower than me? I should never have been so selfish as to fall in love and make everyone around me deal with my stupid emotions."

".... Where is this coming from?" Izuru tilted his head slightly, eyes muddled with confusion. "You did not speak like this before."
"It's true..." Nagito allowed himself to softly grip his dress shirt, "Isn't it? Maybe these feelings have always been in me. I... I don't know. I just know that if not for me, none of this would have happened. It was because of me, that all the pirates are in danger now, and that the Queen is after you. I put the burden on all the pirates at the gathering because we needed help, because I wasn't good enough to help you. I couldn't even find Komaru's ship on my own, and then... And then I ruined ten years of you keeping yourself from drinking human blood, thinking it would be better if you did. And now look? You're even hungrier than before, aren't you? I should never have stepped in. No matter how much I try, I always make a mess of things. I brought Makoto to Aka's Bar and caused a fight in a peaceful place, I killed a man and stole his name. There's no point, I should just go back and turn myself in. At least with me dead, everyone else still has a chance. I shouldn't have thought I would ever make a difference, you'd have more hope if I were to just die already, and save yourself the despair and back luck I just keep bringing with me-"

"That's enough now," Kamukura's scolding was harsh and swift, shushing him where he stood. "You cannot blame yourself for not seeing the future or every action of yours not being perfect. It is not your fault Sonia is after us; she chose that path herself. I chose to take your offer. I don't recall you saying you foresaw Makoto was going to cause a scene, or that you had eyes for catching one ship among hundreds."

"But it's my fault we started this journey, and for what? Fake promises and the end of our hope?" Nagito scoffed, turning his eyes to his feet. "I'm just trash, the worst of the worst scum. I don't even deserve you."
To that, Kamukura had nothing to say. The room fell quiet, seconds passed, maybe even minutes, before the Pirate King finally exhaled.
"Then, do you regret falling in love with me?"

"... No." Nagito wouldn't allow himself to lie, especially not to something like that. Even now, he was being selfish with his feelings, he was truly terrible.
"Look..." Kiibo piped up, not pulling his eyes from his table, "I am sorry, I do not wish any of those struggles upon you. It sounds like you have been through a lot."

"Understatement," Kamukura muttered a short interruption, cutting him off for a moment before the Doctor continued.
"You are pirates, and..."
Kiibo trailed off, falling silent a long moment before there was a sudden crashing sound, snapping Komaeda's attention behind him to the doctor.

The man had slammed his hands down upon his table, a troubled, unreadable look melted across his eyes.
"It is not fair, making me choose between the law and my morals. I am... Supposed to help people, no matter the cost. That is why I chose to supply the black market rather than be restricted in a regular office. But... But Pirates are terrorists and murderers and... And they are still people. What am I supposed to do? I can not keep denying helping someone caused by my own actions. It is not fair, and yet..." As he rose his eyes, the doctor's dazzling diamond irises met Nagito's gentle olive ones. "There is... Something strange about you."
He picked himself up, standing tall, as though he were a machine.

"Can we make a deal? I just want to examine the two of you, and then I will help. I honor my word." Extending a hand up, Kiibo's gesture promised, but as Komaeda looked up to the Pirate King, doubt still held deep in his gaze.

It was strange for Komaeda as well, that he suddenly wanted to help after denying them so harshly. The fluffy pirate hoped his own words didn't have anything to do with that, he didn't want anyone's pity, in fact, he didn't feel he would mind if someone were to trample over him just then.
It was odd, to suddenly be thinking things like that. Even for him, it didn't feel quite right. He felt as though his mind was falling apart at the seams, fried from what he'd witnessed in such short a time, tired beyond belief, and scared... So scared.
And yet, not scared for himself anymore. What was such a thing he felt?

"You can trust the d-doctor," Mikan smiled from where she stood, twiddling her fingers. "And if he hur-hurts you, I don't mind if you light me on fire."
"That's extreme," Nagito awkwardly laughed off her remark, but despite that, it was only an examination, how bad could it be?
"And I am to trust the man that had a hand in making me a beast?" Izuru grumbled instead, slowly releasing Nagito to stand on his own and stride closer.

Kiibo didn't move from his spot, nor sway as the Pirate King stood mere inches away.
The sudden tension in the room couldn't be cut with a mere sword as the two men stared each other off. Although Kiibo looked more hesitant, soft even, like a confused, startled child.
The dark man didn't react, or speak, only keeping his cold eyes on the doctor for so long, that it felt like he was trying to burn a hole into the man's very soul.

Mikan made a small noise that almost sounded like a squeak, her eyes wide and afraid.
"Please don't hurt him, h-he never meant to hurt you!" She moved to reach out, but froze up before taking even a step as her entire body was visibly shaking.
Was this Komaeda's fault as well?

Honestly, he couldn't tell anymore. In some, messed up way that he was, did he cause Kamukura to want to terrify the doctor? Could it be because of his short breakdown that the Pirate King wanted to do it? Or maybe some form of the butterfly effect?
What sort of hope could come from this? All he felt was horrible despair swirling in his gut, such terrible feelings he'd never felt. At least, not this bad.

"Please," Nagito allowed himself to speak. "Why don't we just... Give it a chance? He's offering to help us in return for our cooperation,"
"Th-That is right!" Kiibo voiced with a nod as he pulled eye contact away, as though trying to pretend Izuru wasn't so close.

Komaeda swallowed back, allowing himself to smile as his lover turned around to face him, an unreadable expression deep within his eyes, "If he does anything to hurt you, you can take out all the pain and blame on me, if you want."