Y/n's Point Of View
"I wanted to tell you something, Y/n" I put down my fork and stared at him deeply. This isn't going to be a good story "Last year, Natasha came to Russia" Same year when she arrived at our house, the same year I fell in love with her "She came there to originally turn down the red room, I assume you already know what is that" Natasha was trained in there to become an assassin, they have done so many wrong to her so I'm no longer surprised that she tried to destroy it "But it didn't go as planned because Dreykov was heavily guarded by other widows so instead she came after his daughter" My eyes widened while I froze from my position "She killed her" I suddenly want to take my ears off. I didn't know that she'll go that far, I didn't know that she's capable of doing that "Dreykov found out about it, and he was so furious he ordered the widows to find Natasha and they had succeeded. She was kept there for months, we didn't know what happened to her. But probably they tortured Natasha, even going far by messing with her head again" I hate how he tells this as if it was just a simple thing to talk about. Like he doesn't care.
"Why are you telling me this?" I questioned, eyes piercing on him "To let you know that Natasha isn't okay. Not even half mentally stable" I could punch him right now for saying that "After we found her. She was so fragile and couldn't even talk. She's not in her right state of mind and it is proven by the doctors after aiding her" So this is all fake? Everything about us isn't real and her head is just messed up "She loves me, Clint. Stop messing up with me!" I almost yelled but then control my voice "She's in love with you I know. She found comfort and home in you after what happened to her in Russia. You cared about her too much that everything ended up here. She loves you too much but if you decide to go with her you wouldn't be able to see your family again" Natasha wouldn't do that "What do you mean?" I'm full of thoughts right now and I hate it.
"Because she'll be going to keep you all to herself. She won't even let you have a glimpse of Tony or even Pepper. Natasha is scared to lose you, Y/n. Therefore she'll be going to make sure that you would not find any way to run away. I want you to understand that this isn't just about whether you love each other or not. I'm making you choose what is good for you and that is by coming back to your parents" I shake my head as my hand trembles "Tony knows that you're here" My heart pounded for a minute upon hearing that "Tony agreed that I handle things first but he said that if you refuse to come or Natasha did something he'll come here. You wouldn't like that to happen, neither am I" I don't want to leave Natasha alone again but my dad, he'll do everything to get me "What am I supposed to do?" I asked, tears falling down my cheeks "Coulson will be here later to get you" He answered, coldly.
"I don't know, I can't just leave her like that. Natasha sacrificed so many things for me, you know that" My voice broke upon saying that, I don't want to see her get hurt because of me again. I don't think I can bare "But you're going to do this for her, she needs help. Natasha needs to rest and have some time with herself, alone. Please Y/n don't make me do things that might hurt the both of you"
I feel like someone is squeezing my heart. Why does everything need to be so hard? I love her so much and I don't think I can do this "This isn't the end of the two of you, Y/n. Maybe someday you'll cross paths again and when that right time comes, maybe there's a chance that you two will be together" I want to zip his mouth and punch his face. What he knows about what we feel, what he knows about the things that might happen. He doesn't care about us. He's just scared that we might get him into trouble for tolerating us.
"Do you have peanut butter and bread? She needs to eat" I look him dead in the eye as I watch the confusion grow on his face. I'll deal with this on my own, I don't need anyone to decide about what I should and shouldn't do or feel "Kitchen, everything is in there" He answered so I immediately stand up from my seat then wipe my tears "Let me handle this and please don't do any decision against my will" Neither one of us wanted things to get messy so I'm sure he will not dare to call my dad. I proceed to leave without saying any further words. I couldn't think of anything aside from spending the night with Natasha. I badly wanted to be on her side right now and just cuddle. It didn't take a long time for me to finally break down. I fell on my knees with my hands on my lips, preventing myself from making any noise. I sobbed quietly as I imagine what Natasha would feel tomorrow, seeing me gone. Finding out that I lied to her when I said that I won't leave her.
"Nat? Are you there?" I said as I threw three knocks on her door. I still feel like crying but I know better than to let her see me like this, all messed up "Yeah, baby. Come inside" Oh how much I love her voice, everything about her. I sighed deeply before turning the door knob to enter inside "What is that, doll?" She's sat on the bed with a book in her hand. She looks so beautiful in her pajamas. She doesn't even need to do anything to look this gorgeous "I made you a peanut butter sandwich, I thought you need to eat" It's her favorite and I'm just sure that she'll eat it. She taps the side of the bed, signaling me to sit with her "Well isn't that sweet?" I just laughed it off. She took it from my hand and start to take a bite "It's perfect" She said while chewing and I just smile "Can you make this again? Tomorrow?" She looks at me in the eyes as I held back my tears. Don't do this to me Natasha, you know I can't leave you like this "Of course, Nat" I answered.
"You know how much I love you, right?" I forced a smile and nodded "You're everything to me, I will always choose you" Slowly, she pull me and kiss my forehead. I rest in her arms as I close my eyes. I can't leave her, even more hurt, she's everything to me. Natasha is my lifeline and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I would die if I lose her again "I will always choose you over anything, Natasha Romanoff. You always come first and no doubt I'd lay my life to protect you" She's always the one who protects me but that will change now because I won't let anyone touch her again. I won't let anyone hurt her. I have no idea what is going to happen later or even tomorrow, and I wanted to know. The only thing that matters right now is Natasha, that she's just beside me.
She lean her forehead on mine "You're my life, I love you so much" She whispered. I kissed her lips before nodding. We just stare at each other for a solid minute before I speak again "Do you want to rest now?" I know that she's tired "Only if you're sleeping with me" I rolled my eyes as a chuckle came out "Of course" She help me lie on the bed before joining me. Natasha put my head on her chest as she locked me into a tight hug "Stay with me"
