Our Life

Beginning...

I started secondary school when I was in 2012. Now I am 14 years old. I use to be very good at studying and I always got good grades. I have one brother who is only 1 year younger than me. Now talking about school... There was a girl called Emily in my year. She wasn't a very nice sort of person. I wouldn't exactly say she bullied me. She was just... Well, its hard to explain. I use to be a good person, I still am now. Emily changed me. She brought me into a bad society. She made me become a bad person.

I wasn't really into other boys or girls. I always tried my best at school and everywhere I went, even when I had tuition at home. I concentrated a lot on my studies. I helped my mum at home with chores. I still do now. But its just the fact that Emily tried to change me. She always swore. I questioned her once asking, "Emily, why do you always swear in every sentence you speak?". She gave me the answer, " I have been brought up in that way by my parents". I thought for a minute... I thought about her parents. Her parents must have brought her up in that way.

Emily acted as if we were close friends, but in my mind, we totally weren't. My own parents had also realised changes in me. But they thought it was 'natural', which they call 'teenage age'. I then asked Emily the next day, "Emily... As we are close friends, may I ask something?". Emily replied saying yes. Therefore, I questioned her once again. This time it was my thoughts that made me think more. " Emily, what are your parents like? I mean... I haven't met or seen them before, so just wondering. Anything.. Interesting?".
For a split second there was silence. After a few seconds or so, Emily replied back. I was devastated after hearing the news. I had never heard anything as such in my whole life! It was just terrifying and scary! "My parents... Well, to make it easier I will start from the beginning. I was only 9. This was when my brother passed away. He had cancer. It was the day when he was laying on his deathbed questioning me slowly, hardly being able to speak, Emily, when will I go to school? Emily, when will I come back home? I couldn't say anything. As tears slowly fell out of my eyes, just like raindrops falling out of the sky. I just didn't have the guts to speak out to him, even whereas he was and is my brother. So then, after his questions I just had to say, don't worry Luke, you will be home very soon, home is your next stop, then school. Don't worry baby. He quietened for a second. The nurse came. She told us not very long to go. I couldn't stand it. I went out of the room. I went to the garden outside the children's hospice. I cried and cried and cried. Couldn't hold it in. But then anyway, I went back inside being very brave and saw Luke... slowly dying. I, my mum and my nan were very disappointed. I couldn't actually believe that my own dad left us in the children's hospice and went down the pub to tell everyone that Luke had died! I mean, how dare him?! But so and so kept happening. A few days after there was a funeral and I had to attend obviously but even though I didn't want to, it would make me feel more devastated. Then dad posted everywhere on Facebook that Luke, his own son had passed away! So just to say, dad and mum had a divorce and separated forever. Mum got a boyfriend called Jamie later on, a few years after. He wasn't as bad I suppose. He look aftered me and my family well. Now mums pregnant and she found out it is a boy. I am happy I am getting a new baby brother but I don't want anything to turn out bad. So just to answer your question Amber, well my parents are nice people. But my mum smokes even though she's pregnant and I know that's bad. Even if I try to stop her she won't stop. Oh well! Jamie smokes as well and he drinks too. Sometimes Jamie can be a bit harsh but otherwise he is cool. So yeah, to be honest Amber, my parents are nice and okay".
This time I thought for a second, I had a lot of things to say to her. These things to make her calm down. I could see tears coming out of her darkened, dull eyes. "Its okay, I understand Emily. You don't have to say anything else further. You didn't have to, but I totally understand. Please don't cry, you'll make me cry!".
I calmed her down. She was okay then.

Following day after that I could tell Emily had been okay at home, she wasn't as upset. One day she is upset and the next day she is fine again but she tells me its a usual thing that happens to her. She sometimes talks to herself and just stays quiet but doesn't speak to others. I ask her if she needs anything or if she's worried but she tells me everything's okay. But whatever she told me that day, I totally understand what she feels like even though I haven't been through anything like that in my entire life... Its sad...

I started to trust Emily for some reason. I tried hard to think why. Most people asked me how did you meet Emily? I just had to say I don't know! I cant remember! Now when I arrived just half way through year 8, everything started to settle down. Even though if I had maybe changed.. I just felt everything was okay.
Last year in July and August I had a very sad moment. But things eventually got better. My nan was very ill. She was admitted in hospital. This is how it started...
I woke up one morning and it was very early. Well, I was still sleeping but whilst I was in bed, I heard a noise of some car or van doors closing outside and I heard some people talking really loudly. My window was open as it was boiling hot summer weather. I looked outside and saw an ambulance and a police car parked just outside my grandparents' house. They live just opposite me anyway. So then I got really worried. I went into my parents' room and woke them up and then I woke my brother up. They got really worried as well so I said to my mum I'm going to go and check what's happened. So actually me, my brother and my dad went to go and check and as soon as I got out of my house I saw my nan coming out with her walking stick walking very slowly arm in arm with a police women. I asked my granddad what was wrong and he told me your nan couldn't breath so we had to call an ambulance and the police came along as well. He told me she will be fine to calm me down. She looked okay, she didn't look that bad though. This was very early in the morning, just about 5:30 am.
My dad then had to go to work and so did my uncle (my dads brother) but my uncle took a day off and my dad went to work. I wanted to go and see if she was okay and my mum said no because under 16's aren't allowed! I was very devastated and upset because I really loved my nan a lot and I still do. Anyway, my uncle and granddad went to the hospital and found out if I could go and see her and they said in the evening its okay. So then my parents took me and my brother to go and see her. She looked very different when I saw her laying in bed in hospital. She looked very poorly. I had never seen her like that before! The doctors there said it will take time for her to get better but after a few days the doctors said we have to shift her into the ICU (intensive care unit). I asked what that was and they told me where people go when their health gets a bit serious. That made me worry even more.
When my nan was in ICU, I didn't really go to see her then because she had lots of wires coming out of her and a oxygen mask. Whenever I saw her, I cried a lot, more than I ever had cried before in my entire life. I did go to see her but not as much. Not because I just didn't feel like seeing her, I really did but it would just make me feel more upset. So instead I just sat at home praying everyday 24/7, praying for her to get better.
Anyway, in the end she slowly started to get better bit by bit. She was in hospital for 2 and a half weeks. But time went quick, even though I wanted it to go quick. I wanted her to come back home better, just like before. And I think god really listened. Nan came back home better safe and sound!
That was that. The saddest moment of my life.