Bird Shit

4th of July - 22:15 PM

'So what happened to Zayn?' Poppie wonders because she can't help but notice how hostage they seem about him now. He got his girl but lost his friends because of the bird shit?

'He moved out rather quickly... it's still fresh,' Harry whispers in her ear.

They are seated much too close, one of Poppie's legs draping over his. It makes her feel all kind of excited on the inside but she tries hard to ignore it.

She's getting married for god's sake, though she can't help but feel like a teenager all over again around Harry.

'You're not in touch with him any longer?'

'We are, just not like we used to be. It's rather forced now that he no longer lives with us and his girlfriend is kind of keeping him all to herself which you would totally understand when you meet him.'

'Will I meet him?' Poppie frowns at that.

She hadn't really thought about seeing these boys again let alone meeting their other half. Poppie isn't really used to living without a plan and now that she finds herself without one, it feels rather strange. She is still getting married tomorrow right? And this is just a trip to another universe of how it could be and who she could be but most definitely isn't.

If her mother would see her like this, half drunk, leaning on some hipster, bowling. It's for the ordinary people and Poppie for ones feels like one and she likes it more than the life that is waiting for her back home. She's even starting to doubt if it's still her home. If home is where the heart is then Poppie is in need of finding a new home.

She thinks about Zayn though, whoever he may be and whenever she may meet him. He moved away from these boys after years of friendship to be with the woman he loves. He find a new home so maybe it is possible to find a new home for Poppie as well although the sheer thought makes her shit herself.

The look on her mother's face when she would say the wedding is off is enough to jump up from the couch and Harry, ignoring his surprised face that she has to say goodbye to.

'Earth to Poppie,' he says leveling himself to look her directly in the eye. 'You don't have to meet him if it upsets you.'

Harry looks at her with big green puppy eyes and his pink lips are set in a pout. It doesn't take him long to see she's distressed and it upsets her even more.

Whenever she would fall and scratch her knee it would have to pour blood in order for her mum to notice and her sisters would just laugh it off or 'try' to help her by rubbing salt in it (true story). So why is she letting those bitches control her life?

'What's wrong?' Harry asks when he still isn't getting a response. It turns out that thinking about her sad life finally keeps silly Poppie's mouth shut.

'Poppie, it's okay, you can talk to me.'

Poppie barely noticed that Harry lured her to the back of the room where it is even darker. The disco lights from behind them cast different shades of shadows over him and for a moment she wonders about this boy and why for the first time in her life she's really doubting what is becoming of her.

Like every other person she has had her periods where she doubted everything around her from the length of her hair to the way her life is set out for her. The last time she felt like this was when she went on holiday to Greece and partied for ten days straight, but the look on her mother's face when she came home with a broken arm and alcohol poisoning shut her right up. Those periods would fade away as quickly as they'd come but this feels much more real. Harry is real and making her knees weak and it makes her doubt everything.

'I am doubting,' she finally says.

'About what exactly?'

'The wedding,' she answers him, looking down to their matching bowling shoes.

She wishes they could just stay here in these awful smelling shoes so she wouldn't have to face her mother. Facing her scares her more than facing Henry.

'Because of me?' He asks very straight forward.

Poppie needs time to think about that because although Harry has a big factor in it, she has had doubts before. It is why she ran away from the café in the first place.

'Not just you,' she tells him truthfully, 'when I ran away I already had my doubts. I guess it all just became too real sitting there with my family and mother-in-law.'

'And you don't like that reality?' He asks closing some space between them.

Poppie's breath gets stuck in her throat when Harry's body warmth spreads around her like a warm blanket she just wants to cuddle in.

'I don't.'

'But isn't that why we're here? You wanted to change so of course you are going to doubt what used to be you. All you need to do now is let it go.'

'I am not sure if I can do that. My mother will kill me,' Poppie says her voice barely a whisper.

'And why do you care so much about her? This is your life, you know. If you want to be different than her, she should let you,' he tells her while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

'It's not that easy. She won't let me, I am not strong enough.' Poppie sighs thinking about the millions of times she has stood up for herself against her mother.

Every single time she came back to her with her tail between her legs; scared as shit. She is sure that tomorrow she will do the same no matter what happens tonight or how well these boys succeed at changing her. She will get married tomorrow because all the wounds inflicted on her by her mother and sisters are bigger than the doubts she's having. They always have and they always will.

So she will marry Henry to please her mother and to show her sisters she isn't just silly Poppie. She will not meet Zayn and this trip with the four roommates will just stay a trip to another universe. A sick twist to give her a glance at what could have been, but not enough to really change her and make her stay. She has been silly Poppie for too long to pass up the opportunity to become Mrs. Henry.

'You were strong enough when you walked away from her,' Harry says but his voice is weaker as if he just had a glimpse inside of Poppie's head and saw her resistance to the life he wishes he could give her.

A life where she is no longer silly Poppie but just the Poppie he sees. A sweet, funny and lovely girl full with possibilities. He heard her sang karaoke, he saw her beautiful frame in his clothes, he smelled his shampoo in her hair, he felt the easiness she draped her legs over his and he almost tasted the sweet taste of her lips just now.

In Harry's universe she is a star and he's not passing up the opportunity to let her become the new member of the bird shit club.