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Abuse 5sos fanfic- Neke15

So, I'm back after not posting for awhile, but I have more stories to add to the collection now since i've been reading a lot recently. Today, I will be reviewing another story so feel free to stick around and if you like 5sos you should check out this story!

Before I start, let's review the summary.

In 2019, Luke is 22 and fame has changed him. He is dating Emerald while his band mates are still single. He has forgotten anything and everything about love.

Great beginning, I love how you chose to skip four years into the future! :D

"She didn't want to be this way. It wasn't even her choice, it was Luke's."

I like how the reader is oblivious to what this really means at first, it leaves a bit of a mystery yet they can still piece together an idea.

"Though Emerald lives a seemingly perfect life, Luke is not who he portrays himself as.

So far so good, it sheds enough insight for the reader to grasp yet I like how it's not a full blown description of the plot like I see so
Many summaries are like on wattpad.

Off camera, he is demanding and abusive. Emerald loves Luke, or at least she thinks she does, until she meets Ashton. He shows her what love really is.

Someone Cue the awww. <3

Throughout the story, she explains why she is still with Luke and how she wasn't always like this. She says that she is with him through guilt.

Through guilt, huh? That's interesting... Leads me to want to know more about her personality and how she was brought up. She seems like the kind of person who is too nice for her own good, which is a decent way to get the reader to care for them yet leave them feeling heart broken for the protagonist.

Can she free herself from his grasp and live happily with Ashton, or will she be forced to live miserably with Luke?

Good ending. I see a lot of stories that end in this form and it's okay. It leaves the reader making the decision if they want to read it or not.

If the question lingering at the end is a good enough reason than sure, they will click it. But if they find its not something they are interested in, then they will exit out and leave behind what could be an excellent story.

For anyone out there reading this be sure to carefully word your summary! And for the author, I personally would have clicked the story because I think you did a pretty great job with the summary.

Now that we are done reviewing the summary let's begin with the over all story, shall we?

First of all, I would like to mention how the author has really improved her writing since the last time I read her previous work. (not that it wasn't good, because it was a very great read, but I thoroughly enjoy her new story Abuse. It is really addicting. :P )

What I liked about your story Abuse, was how you had the reader hooked very early on in the story. For me, the reason for this was you gave the reader something they had to read to discover. The reader has to progressively follow along with the story to find out more about the main characters past, and why she is still with luke.

Now I am only on chapter 7 out of uhm... 16 I think? But so far I really love your writing style, how you end each chapter, and how you seem to bounce back and forth with showing the reader bits and pieces of what their relationship is like on a good day, just so we have something to hang on to.

Then in an instant you change the mood of the story and Luke is yelling/hurting his girlfriend, or showing her off in front of the paparazzi for the sake of his career.

This leaves the reader only slightly frustrated with the sudden change, but that's a good thing because it keeps the reader on edge and waiting for more.

Now that I've gone over this, I want to address the importance of character development. Since I am not far into the story yet, this is only a suggestion in case you haven't done much character development.

Your main goal should be to make sure the reader cares for the character like they are a real person with real troubles, a story shouldn't be too obvious with a predictable plot.

The good thing is, your story line was really creative and you have a lot of potential towards the writing industry.

Moving along, since you are so creative I suggest that every time you get an idea for your story make sure to jot it down in a notebook for whenever you are stuck or when you think your plot may be lacking excitement. That way, you have plenty of ideas to contribute towards your story.

For example, have you ever read a story where the author is forced to come up with a way to make two characters meet up somewhere?

Some may go for the easier, more overused
path and have them meet up in the hospital after a near- death experience, or they end up bumping into each other in the hallway, are forced to go to detention in the same day, etc, etc.

I beg of you, don't let that person be you! You are a very talented writer and you are so creative it would be a shame to see you take the easy way out whenever you have the opportunity to improve your story with an amazing plot twist.

This really does make all the difference in whether or not your story will make it big or blend in with all the others, you don't have to be a genius to be original, just be yourself and exercise your skills at coming up with creative, unpredictable scenarios that aren't to outrageously unbelievable.

Now, I am not a published author or have years and years of experience, but these are just my suggestions as an amateur writer, to a fellow beginning writer.

Please, if you have any more suggestions and/or have read the authors work 'Abuse,' please comment any more suggestions below! :3 thanks for reading!