Cashmere

Kira

I ain't been at the club in a couple of days. My momma hollering about me needing to be a mother to my kids. Hold on bitch...my first child was to my step daddy a nigga you still speak highly of after he raped your daughter. I have been working at the strip club since I was 16 . Started fucking with my youngest two's daddy and just been home. I'm not tryna be in my own shit until I'm straight. She only hollers when she doesn't get money for coke. I walked into the kitchen and pulled out lunch for the kids. Money was asleep on the couch and our daughter Laysia laid next to him. Malaysia is two and she's a daddy's girl. I wish I could say the same . I never met my real dad and hated my step dad. My son Tarrez turned 11 last weekend. Hes my pride and fucking joy regardless of what happened. Tarrez was an honor student and he loved his mama.

"Listen, I gotta go to work tonight. Can you watch the kids Money gotta bust a few traps?"I asked my sister Natay.

"Yeah just bring me 150 friday."She said, pouring herself a glass of kool aid.

"Aight..where mama at?"

"She is gone..she went to Cali with Leela's mom."

"Good..so she can get off my back."I said going to my room. Me and Money slept in the attic and the kids had their own room. My mama owned a five bedroom crib as much as she complained she wanted all of us together. I hopped in the shower and got dressed. Money dropped me off at the club . When I walked in the locker room Essence and Cashmere were doing their makeup and gossiping .

"Wassup, wassup."I smiled while hugging Cashmere.

"Hey girl where have you been?"Cashmere asked me.

"You know my mama is a trippin sis. Y'all ready to make this money tonight?"

"YUP!"laughed Cashmere.

I popped a xanax before getting on stage every time because if i didn't my thoughts would get to me. I know this job ain't the kind of job for a bitch that got PTSD... I know it isn't ..But it was fast money. I got on the stage and did my shit a couple minutes later Cashmere was up there pulling me on. We became close as fuck when we met. She's my rider and I'll lay anybody over her. We split the bread up which came to 2500 and gave Rick his 5% . Rick was cool but didn't need to run a strip club. He was barely here and had the security guards running shit most days. Once the clock hit 2 I was ready to clock out and take my black ass home. Money was on the block and I asked him to pick me up. When we pulled up to the crib, mad police cars were outside. I was shaking at the sight of them .

"What the fuck?" I yelled getting out of the car.

Money followed after me and a paramedic stopped me at the door.

"Ma'am i can't let you go in there."He said.

"My kids!Where the fuck are my kids?!" I screamed.

"Are you Kira Langley?"A small white woman in a suit came up to me asking.

"Yeah...where's my babies?Where's my sister Natay?"

Natay came running up to me crying .

"Ms Langley..there has been a home invasion at your house...Your son Tarrez and your son Juell died They were shot ...Laysia is fine she was in the master bedroom with your sister when it happened."

Money dropped to his knees crying and I dropped down next to him.

"No.. no ..you're lying .."I cried .

Natay hugged me but I just kept on screaming and crying. My chest was hurting. I couldn't breathe and couldn't stop crying. They asked me to identify their bodies . I couldn't. Money had to. I told Rick I would be off for a couple of weeks and I stayed in my room. I couldn't eat or sleep after the funeral. I was missing my babies and I wanted to know why someone would hurt them.

My mom walked into my room holding a towel ,candles and a new bar of soap.

"Baby...you gotta go take a shower."My mother said softly, pulling the covers away from my face. Money hasn't been home and I have been depressed .

"My soul hurts.''Was all I could say. Tears fell from my mothers eyes and she hugged me then laid the stuff down on the bed. Nothing could take this pain away.

I got into the bath and soaked for a while. Dirt came off my body turning the water brown...A bitch was dirty and I wasn't ashamed to say that I neglected myself for two weeks. I got out of the bath after an hour and put some sweats and a tee on. I looked at my phone and had hella text messages from family members and Cashmere. I got the strength to call Rick.. The boy's death changed a lot of things for me. I needed to get my life together. I needed my own place. I was gonna get that bread by any means necessary.

"Everything okay Kira?"

"Rick, I'm coming back tonight,"I said.

"Are you sure Kira?You can stay out for a couple more weeks."

"I'm sure rick...I got bills to pay."I said, clearing my throat trying not to cry.

"Okay..well you can start back tonight."He said.

"Sayless."I said, hanging up the phone.

Money walked into the room holding flowers and chocolate. He looked as if he didnt sleep.

"Where have you been?"I asked him to grab my coat.

"I've been at my moms crib...I love you babe, we 're gonna get through this."Money said, hugging me.

"I know...i gotta go back to work..can you drop me off?"

"Yeah. and I'll pick you up at 11 and tell Rick you are not able to stay long for a while."

I nodded and headed outside and got into the car. We drove to the strip club ..back to money.

When I walked in my locker was decorated with cards and there was a teddy bear with the boy's picture sitting on a stool in front of my locker.All the girls gave me a hug and I cried for a little bit. After getting dressed I got on the stage and did my shit. Ricky only asked us to go up three times tonight, not five like we usually do. After I was done with my 3 I sat in the locker room and listened to music. Cashmere came in and got in the shower.

"How have you and Leel been?"I asked her.

"I aint been fucking with him. Caught a bitch in his phone.''She said drying her hair with a towel.

"Wow, that's crazy...yall gonna get back together tho."

"Maybe I ain't been answering his phone calls."

"Answer that man you know he is sorry."

"I guess,"She said.

After my shift was over I waited outside for Money. He pulled up with mcdonalds and a joint rolled. We rolled around the city smoking and eating . He was trying to cheer me up. I could tell he was hurting too . Tarrez was like his son and we lost our baby boy Juell. We were hurting together.

"Money...I love you."I said.

"I love you more shorty.we gonna be okay. Imma find out who dem niggas is."He said.

I grabbed his hand because I knew he was dead serious. Over our sons everybody was gonna die. I was rolling with him. Usually I ain't condone alot of the nutshit but about our sons somebody has to pay.