The Mannequin - Minsung

seventy-five

Jisung's not in bed in the morning...

Minho gasps. He can't breathe. He jumps out of bed. Staggers.

He forgot to cuff him to the bed. To himself.

He stumbles out of the room. He can't see well. Because of his tears.

He wishes it's a dream. His voice can't even come out.

"J-Jisung..." He makes it to the front door. Struggles to open it.

"Minho? Where are you going?"

He turns. Shocked. It's Jisung.

"Oh my god." Minho almost trips. He throws himself at Jisung. He can't control it. He sobs. From everything he feels.

"Minho!" Jisung sounds scared. Worried. He walks him to the couch. Carefully sits him down.

Minho can't let him go. He pulls him. Holds him tightly.

"M-Minho... why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry... I t-thought you were gone... I'm sorry..."

Jisung wraps his arms around him. He tries to calm Minho. His voice is soft. Full of love. Soothing. He kisses Minho's head. Wipes his tears.

"Don't cry, Minho. I'm sorry... I won't do that again. I w-wasn't thinking right. But I'm here. You don't have to worry about me leaving... okay?"

Minho forces himself to stop. Jisung wipes his tears away.

"I'm staying with you," he murmurs. He sets his forehead on Minho's. Then he sighs. "I know... I will remember more... I will feel strange... maybe act strange... but I won't go anywhere."

"The people in my past... they've all died, haven't they? They're all gone. It's been too long. You're right. I can't do anything about it. But I can stay here... with you. And you just love me and want me with you..."

Minho kisses him. "Yes. I just want you. Just you."

"Me too, Minho. I just want you." Jisung's eyes become sad again. "B-But if you learn more about me... and your feelings change... then you can tell me to leave... okay?"

Minho grips his waist. He's frightened. "W-What? No. No. No, Jisung— please. Stay. I love you. Always. I need you."

Jisung's tears fall. "B-But I see bad things in my head, Minho... I don't want to know their full story... but I will soon... and then I don't know what I will think of myself, or what you will think of me..."

Minho's heart is hammering. From the panic. Earlier. From what Jisung's saying. "Why do you say that? Did you... remember anything?"

"Yes..." Jisung says. "B-But I don't understand everything. It's just the people you told me about..."

"The... the Helen? Kyungseo?"

Jisung nods. Whispers, "They didn't like me..."

Minho feels hot anger. He remembers what Jisung would say. In those nights last time. Why aren't they coming? Did they put me here?"

"Fuck them," Minho says. He had a bad feeling about it. These people in his memories. "You don't need them. They're gone. They don't matter."

Jisung sniffs. "What if they're right?"

"They're not," Minho says. Immediately. He doesn't even know what exactly Jisung's talking about. "R-Right about what?"

"About me... that I'm bad and evil... and will hurt everyone..."

Minho's heart almost shatters. His throat hurts from stopping a sob. "I don't know why they would say that. But I know they're wrong."

"I know you, Jisung. I've spent all this time with you. I know how you are— you're sweet and kind. You've never wanted to hurt anyone."

"But that man... I saw him in my dream... he said I don't deserve love... because I don't know how to love back... to give anything... he said I'm unworthy of love because I'm ungrateful and selfish."

Minho hugs him. He's furious. It sounds so wrong.

He pecks Jisung's head. "Since the beginning... when you came alive... before you knew me... you've been giving me kisses. Because you thought it meant thank you. So how can that be true?"

"I... I don't know..."

"Do you remember what we talked about? Trying to focus on now? On me and you? Not on what's gone?"

Jisung pulls back. Wipes his face. His lip quivers.

"Y-Yeah. I'm sorry... it just hurts so much... to remember what they said to me... It makes me feel like I should just be a mannequin... I should just disappear... I shouldn't be alive."

"No..." Minho says. He's pained. "No, don't think that. What will happen to me? A-And Mama Haeun, and the Hwangs? We'll be so sad... a-and I can't bear not to have you with me... would you leave me like that?"

Jisung shakes his head. "You'll cry a lot. I can't do that."

"Yes, I will cry a lot..." Minho brings Jisung into his arms. Tight. Warm. It reduces the hurt in his chest. "I love you, Jisung... And I understand that it's hard... remembering painful things..."

"I know it could get worse... but I'm here to give you all the love you need... to help you through it and make you feel better... I don't know if it will be enough, but we'll have to be strong... okay?"

Jisung's quiet again. His breathing's slow. "Okay..."

"Thank you." Minho kisses him tenderly. Notices. "Oh, Sungie... your fever's gone. How are you feeling now?"

"Is it? I feel... so lost..." He mumbles.

It must be because of the memories.

"I'm sorry, love. Do you want to do something? To get your mind off it? Oh, why were you out of bed? Did you get up yourself?"

Jisung's thinking. He's unsure. Then his eyes light up. He stands. Holds Minho's hand. Pulls him to his feet.

"I wanted to make you breakfast! I didn't want to think about that man. I want to think about you."

"Oh, y-yes that's good," Minho says. He's surprised. Happy. "That's really good. You're wonderful, Jisung."

"But next time I should tell you first so you don't cry. Right?"

"Y-Yes..." Minho says shyly. He gives Jisung another kiss.

To be continued...