2 months later
"It doesn't work for us, we have to stop here." that's what you've said before you slammed the door behind you.
"No, I can do better." that was my reply before I cracked in tears.
But my whispers were so weak for you to hear, or to make you come back. You already gave up on me.
Then I started to recall the recent days before that very moment, days or weeks or months.. I lost track of time, maybe it was me, something about me, or something I did that pushed you to get sick of me, of us.
I began to blame myself after that, strong enough to hate my whole being. While the fact is that you're the curse, it's not something about me, it's about you, you were spread in my veins like a drug.
That was my own explanation to console myself during the lonely bleak days. I look back to our first days then skip the last one, then once again I glance at now. There's a huge difference between my past and present. I wonder if there will be any future.
And honestly, I want another chance from life to forgive my dumb choices.
I place my hand on my heart, it beats, it's alive but what makes me so sure about it is that pain that keeps aching every second, like a deep wound that never gets healed. Allow me to be dramatic and overreact, I'm not used to trauma.
I take a deep breath and try to make it stable with all my exhales and inhales. I only realize that I'm not fine yet and not gonna be any soon. Your shadow is haunting me everywhere while I'm trying to escape, stuck in this maze, I dunno where to go.
Please lead me, tell me what to do!!
I want to let go, but I'm horribly attached to my past, there's no hope left for it, I should erase everything from my whole life, but how!?
