Incandescently | Dead Poets Society

Eight

"I was quiet, but I was not blind." Jane Austen

"To live deep, and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life--" We recite, only to be cut off by the distracting sound of laughter from outside of the Indian Cave. Female laughter. Sitting beside Neil, I feel an awkward ambience start to settle in the air as Charlie enters with two blonde women, who giggle foolishly as they tumble inside. Everyone is quick to jump to their feet, apart from Neil and myself.

"Hey guys!" Charlie exclaims, beaming at us all, "meet, uh, Gloria and..." He blanks on the name of the girl wearing a waterproof blue coat, so she introduces herself as Tina, in quite an irritated tone. "This is the pledge class of the Dead Poets Society," Charlie continues, pointing around at all of us, whilst notably avoiding eye contact with myself. 

I cannot help but feel a judgement in my gaze, one that Neil seems to reciprocate, just with a more muted softness. Charlie then insists that everyone take their seats again - Gloria and Tina sitting down beside him - before he declares an announcement he wishes to share. 

"In keeping with the spirit of passionate experimentation of the Dead Poets, I'm giving up the name Charles Dalton," he says, smirking around at us all, "from now on, call me Nuwanda." Most of the boys snicker in response, and then begin a series of mimicked whooping when Charlie takes a lipstick from Tina, which he uses to draw a small symbol on either of his cheeks. "Are we gonna have a meeting, or what?" He then asks, lighting a cigarette as he leans backwards against the cave wall. 

"Neil, could I please have a cigarette?" I ask in a hushed whisper, keeping my gaze lowly concentrated on Charlie. Neil is quick to light one for me and as he hands it to me, Gloria says that if we don't follow through with a meeting, how are she and Tina to know if they want to join. That statement truly takes us all by surprise, but we don't have much time to react before Charlie turns to Tina and starts reciting William Shakespeare's 'Sonnet 18' to Tina. 

"That's so sweet," she says, playfully blushing and fawning over the teenage boy, who pretends that he invented the poem right there in the moment. I try to ignore him when he starts reciting Lord Byron to Gloria, as my senses are quite overcome by the strong stench of vodka and whiskey, courtesy of the two strangers now in our midst. Neil seems to notice and subtly reaches for my hand, which he takes and supportively rubs his thumb over, hoping to provide some support.

Tina attempts to force her bottle of whiskey into Neil's hand, but he is quick to shake his head and almost turns his body away from her slightly. In turn, facing me more obviously. "If you're too uncomfortable, we can leave," he whispers, to which I shake my head and insist that I'm alright. Shuffling from Todd pulls my attention, and I see him move closer to my left side, clearly noticing my discomfort too.

"Me and Pitts are working on a hi-fi system," Meeks says, cutting through the awkward silence that has befallen the cave, "it shouldn't be that hard to put together." Tina nods her head in an almost monotonous way, a gesture she repeats when Pitts states that he could possibly be going to Yale after he graduates. "Don't you guys miss having girls around here?" Gloria then asks, before turning her eyes to me and flashing a rather sharp, snarky expression. I hold my tongue and merely respond with a kind smile, attempting to not let her look get underneath my skin.

"That's part of what this club is about," Charlie starts, almost answering Gloria's question, "in fact, I'd like to announce... I published an article in the school paper in the name of the Dead Poets. Demanding that more girls be admitted to Welton, so we can all stop beating off." Neil is quick to ask how Charlie was even able to do such a thing, and the cheeky boy reveals that as he is one of the proofers, he was able to merely slip the article inside.