Best Served Cold

Chapter 1

Inside a far too small cupboard for a growing child, the lone occupant of the 'room' blinked rapidly, before an evil grin appeared on his face.

Those damn purebloods wouldn't know what hit them, and this time he was going to make them think twice about turning him into their whipping boy. The war was a secondary matter...if he dealt with the main idiots first, then the casualties would be kept to a minimum.

Nothing made purebloods think twice about being idiots like being unable to pay for their injuries. It might take a few tries, but they'd get the hint pretty fast.

But first, he needed to take stock of how far back he was, give Vernon and his aunt a damn good reason to leave him the hell alone, and then start making plans to really spice things up.

Which was why, after taking a brief look at the date (he had two years to 'train' his uncle and cousin to back off), the first thing he did after determining how much time he had to really change things, was to ensure he had his little mini-pocket realm accessible.

After one too many fangirls and idiot purebloods breaking into his house (usually to either violate him or try and kill him) he researched pocket dimensions. It was surprisingly simple, and turned out to be a lesser known skill among the purebloods for important documents. Mostly the higher ranked aurors on high profile cases, or Unspeakables.

A little known perk of the pocket realms was that while it couldn't store food or anything living, as long as you knew how to access it, anything stored was available anywhere...or anywhen.

It made it a lot easier for people who used time-turners to deliver necessary court documents on time for important cases. Which had been a problem in the past.

Once he confirmed he had the right documents, his grin became vicious.

Those idiots wouldn't know what hit them.

~

The biggest sign something had changed in the brat was the fact he came home early. Or at least Petunia assumed he did.

Her nephew hated the house, a sentiment she made sure to encourage. So the fact that he was there at all raised alarm bells.

This was actually part of Vernon's lunch hour, and he had come home early because he didn't want to waste money buying from a new restaurant while his preferred one was under renovations.

Vernon disliked new things.

"BOY! What are you doing here?"

Instead of flinching, as he usually did at the enraged tone, the freak looked them both in the eye and they were the ones to flinch back.

"Let's get one thing straight, aunt and uncle," said the freak with a far too calm voice. He spat out the titles as if they were curse words. "You don't want me here, and I would gladly watch this place burn to the ground and would only come back to piss on the ashes. But since we're stuck with each other, I'm damn well not going to take your shit any longer than I have to."

Vernon's face blistered with rage, but before he could get a word in, Harry merely pointed at the lightbulb above him, and it exploded. Their worst fears had come true...the freak knew of his powers.

Both were silent with horror.

"Here's the thing about the backwards morons who call themselves superior. They don't track magic without a wand, and all I have to do is occupy that senile old woman Figg to keep that idiot Dumbledore out of my way. However I'm not above working out a little deal with you," said Harry flatly.

"What sort of deal?"

"You don't have to talk to me or even acknowledge my existence during the summer months I'm stuck here, once that outdated castle finally deigns to remember me. If we can pretend that we're roommates who are forced to live with each other until I'm at least fifteen. By that time, I can sue for emancipation in both worlds. Hell, I could care less if you feed me just the 'rabbit food' that Dudley and Vernon can't stand," said Harry.