Tapestry

The News

Chapter Thirteen

You were beginning to get a little worried by the lack of response over the phone line.  You wondered if maybe this was something you should have waited to tell him in person, or maybe when you knew he wasn't busy.  However, you simply could not wait to share the news with Yuzuru.  

When you heard a shaky breath and a poorly muted sniffle through the phone, you felt your own eyes burning.

"I- I don't know what to say," he sniffled again.  "I, uhm.  This is... wow.  He said that?"

"Yes, he said he wishes you were his papa," you whispered, voice catching with emotion.

"Like it came right from him?"

You smiled softly against your phone and tried to assuage his disbelief for the third time, "That is what he said, Yuzu."

"And he drew us all together?"

"Yes.  Well, he drew you as a lion with skates, but yes." You couldn't help the small chuckle that left your lips as you wiped at your eyes.

"How did he say it?"  He asked, wanting to know every detail.

You thought of how Yuki looked earlier when his words confirmed what his drawings had already shown you.  

"At first he was so shy and hesitant to show me his book.  Then, when he said he wished you were his papa, he looked... so hopeful...," and then he looked almost forlorn and guilty for sharing his wish.  

It had taken everything in you to not tell Yuki the truth about his father, right then and there. The thought of the man currently on the other end of the line was the only thing that held you back, because he more than deserved to be there when the truth was told.  Really, he deserved to be the one to say it.

"I-I didn't know what to say after he said that... I was surprised and trying to, I don't know, keep it together.  And then," You choked out, remembering how you had burst into tears in front of your son.  

After many years of hiding your emotions and weakness, you had let big fat tears of both happiness and regret roll down your face.  Happiness because this was the start of something you had been waiting years for, and regret because his longing for a father was entirely your fault.  You were the one who caused that forlorn look on your son's face.  You were the one who had kept him separated from his father.  

"I just broke down.  He must have thought what he said made me sad."  You took a few moments to pace your breaths before you continued, overwhelmed with emotion, "And to make matters worse, instead of me comforting him, he- he was the one to comfort me.  He hugged me and then he told me that everything was okay."

You cried silently now as you retold the situation, just as you cried silently when you threaded your fingers through your little boy's hair no more than an hour ago when he fell asleep.

"He's such a sweet boy," Yuzuru spoke delicately. 

You listened to his staggered breaths over the line, sounding as undeniably affected as you were, and you wished there was no phone or distance between you both. You wanted him right next to you.  Not only for your sake, but so that you could be there for him.  You knew how much this news must be affecting him and the desire to be the one to comfort him, smile with him, and cry with him was overwhelming. 

But perhaps that was a selfish desire on your part.

"What are you doing right now?" He was the one who asked.  

You turned over from your spot on the couch where you had spent at least a half hour crying after putting Yuki to bed.  It had taken you an embarrassingly long time to control your emotions enough to make coherent sentences and call Yuzuru.